We crowded around the mirror

Painting our lips sinful red

We got drunk on Bailey’s

Because we were young and dumb

With Red Hot Chili Peppers on repeat

We daydreamed of Hollywood

And all the things we would become

Model, actress, triple threat superstar

Even then a part of me knew

That all our dreams would only remain

Dreams

Something to sigh over when we were older

But then I left for Hollywood

Without you

I was too old for frivolous dreams

And didn’t try to become

Any of those things I wished I could be

All those things we were certain we

could achieve

When they told me that you died

I already knew why before being told

All I asked was, “How?”

Because even at seventeen your gaze

Held a brokenness to it

That gave me insight into your future

I just wish that my intuition had been wrong

That I could be walking the Walk of Fame with you

Bathing in the waters of the Pacific Ocean together

Getting drunk in Griffith Park

Falling in love with movie stars

Although I’m often tempted to join you

I feel the burden of having to live

For the both of us

Striving to live and love

Like you can no longer do

Even if sometimes, I wish I could let go

Because living without you has become

A punishment I always wished I didn’t have to endure.

***

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