Excerpt from “Vicious Traditions: Tales of Terror & the Grotesque”

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This is my friendly reminder that I have a book coming out NEXT YEAR!!!

FEBRUARY 1, 2022 and you can PREORDER HERE

The excerpt below is from the short story, “Comets Tear the Skies.”

PROLOGUE

When I open my eyes, I have legs.

“The operation was successful,” the doctor beams.

I lift the white sheet with tentative fingers, and peek at my new set of legs. I had seen them in photos and in movies, prior, but on me they look foreign, almost hideous. I try to raise one but am unable to.

“Don’t,” the doctor says. “You’ll have time to learn how to use them before your mission begins.”

“I leave in two months. Is that enough time?”

“Yes, we’ve had some patients running within a month!”

I’m impressed. Maybe it won’t be so difficult after all. If I can manage the pain. I take another look beneath the sheet. They’re there, two perfectly toned pair of legs with a little drawing of a daisy chain circling around my right ankle.

“You couldn’t get rid of that?”

“Unfortunately, no, we were unable to remove that. But it won’t interfere with anything. It’s just a feeble embellishment.”

And also a constant reminder of the former owner of these legs.

But I don’t say that to the doctor. He seems so pleased with himself and the result of my operation. I don’t want to burst his bubble.

“Don’t worry about it, besides you can cover it up with clothes afterwards,” he says to me as though he’s read my mind. “Have you decided what name you’ll use during your mission?”

I manage a tiny smile and nod.

“Brenda,” I say. “My name is Brenda.” The name sounds foreign to me, much like my legs, but it reminds me of a character from the TV series I’ve been watching with the other missionaries to learn the new language. A name that will help me fit in.

“Your new life starts now, Brenda,” the doctor says. “We’re all aware of the great sacrifice you had to make in order to be chosen for this mission. Don’t think that our community isn’t humbled by your courage. You’re strong. You should be honored that you passed the selection process. Not many do.”

I sigh, thinking about the abomination below the sheet. What may seem like an honor to some, feels more like a curse to me.

But I can’t think like that.

No.

I’m a new person now.

And in a couple of months I’ll be bound for Earth.

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Review: Kiehl’s Avocado Eye Cream

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What It Is: Hydrating Eye Cream

What It Does: De-puffs and Brightens the eye area.

Active Ingredients: Avocado, Shea Butter, and Beta-Carotene

Verdict: It’s no surprise that avocado is a superfood when it comes to nourishing the skin with its hefty dose of Vitamin C and Oleic Acid (a healthy fat) it helps prevent wrinkles and sun damage. Also, it’s fucking delicious to eat, so it’s basically a miracle fruit. So when I had the chance to try out Kiehl’s avocado eye cream I couldn’t be more stoked. This eye cream is hella hydrating and rich. It’s the sort of eye cream that you put on at night cause it’s far too fatty and thick to sit well beneath makeup. Waking up after eight hours of this cream soaking into my skin feels like bliss. The skin is rejuvinated, nourished, and hydrated. Plus, it tackles fine lines like a pro. Like I said, avocado is a miracle fruit and Kiehl’s just managed to package it in a form of a very effective eye cream.

Price: $32

Where To Buy It: https://www.kiehls.com/

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Throwback Thursday: The First Evil by R.L. Stine

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Between the ages of 11-14 I readily devoured all things R.L. Stine at a speed that would make anyone’s head spin like Regan’s in The Exorcist. I was also very lucky to have a dad that didn’t mind shelling out hundreds of dollars a year to sustain my R.L. Stine book addiction. And although many people loved Goosebumps, I was always a Fear Street stan and out of all the stories within that series my absolute favorite was what I dubbed as the “Fear Street Cheerleaders.” meaning “The First Evil,” “The Second Evil,” and “The Third Evil.”

Maybe it was nostalgia sparked by the recent viewing of Netflix’s Fear Street films, but I found myself compelled to reread the first book of a series that I so dearly loved and whose creepiness has followed throughout the years.

“The First Evil,” is about the Corcoran sisters, Corky and Bobbi are newly transplants from Missouri to Shadyside and live on the unfortunate street called Fear Street. The two sisters were cheerleading sensations at their former high school and hope to recreate their past success at their new school, only the cheerleaders at Shadyside aren’t so easily won over by the charming Corcoran sisters, especially Kimmy (second in line to becoming Cheerleader captain). Thankfully, they manage to win over the coach’s and Cheerleading Captain Jennifer’s hearts and secure themselves a spot on the team.

Things take an ugly turn when Jennifer becomes paralyzed after a bus accident and Bobbi takes over as the Cheerleading Captain which enrages Kimmy even more. Soon, sinister things begin to happen and the reader isn’t sure if it’s teenage bullying or an evil entity (cause ya know, teenage girls can be as cruel as a demon).

YA has come a long way since R.L. Stine was penning his chilling stories, so I quickly realized how very “dumbed down” the writing was in regards to today’s YA selections (I also believe that nowadays, YA is simply a genre that has a teen protagonist but many times the writing level in the novel is on par with that of adult fiction). Despite the simple writing and one dimensional characters, Stine excels when it comes to painting a sinister picture, and he’s the master of the innovative causes of death (and the reason why all of my phobias have originated from his books).

The Fear Street Cheerleaders is a series that has heavily influenced my writing especially my most recent completed manuscript, “Girl that You Fear,” where Spencer Torres (also a cheerleader) becomes possessed by an ancient demon (and in honor of Corky and Bobbi, beautiful girls with seemingly masculine names, is why Spencer was my only choice when it came to naming my protagonist).

I only read “The First Evil,” one time when I was 12, but re-reading it now almost twenty years later, I recalled many of the events that occurred (especially a particular death in a locker room shower). Overall, “The First Evil,” continued to be a thrilling ride and I noticed that two more books have been added to the series since the last time I read it, so I’m eager to find out what else lies in store for Cory Corcoran and her hapless group of cheerleaders.

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Poetry: Last Wish

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I would drown myself,

If I knew,

That it would eliminate you.

I would drown myself,

Even if,

I would regret it.

Maybe for once I’d be in peace.

With you, out of my head.

I’m only sane if I don’t sleep,

Because that’s where you creep.

Sleepless nights,

Wakeful days,

I must remain this way.

I would drown myself,

If I was sure,

That it would make me pure.

I would drown myself,

If I was certain,

That you would finally leave me alone.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

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Another Short Hiatus!

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This summer has been quite a whirlwind and I’ll be busy road tripping for the next two weeks, so I’ve decided to take another short hiatus! But don’t worry, The Inblotters will be back TUESDAY, AUGUST 24! In the meantime, stay safe my friends!

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Review: Skin & Co Roma – Truffle Therapy Whipped Cleansing Cream

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What It Is: Cleansing Cream

What It Does: Cleanse, Purify, Nourishing, and Brightening.

Active Ingredients: Sulfate-free, Sweet Almond Oil, Chamomile, Black Winter Truffle Extract, and Mallow Leaf

Verdict: I can’t recall if I was sent this in an Allure Beauty Box or if this was part of a Fab Fit Fun Box, but whatever the case is, the first thing you will notice about this cleanser is the AMAZING SCENT. It simply smells so luscious and expensive, and I guess it’s no surprise that it’s made in Italy. This cleanser is silky smooth, not a gel, so it’s perfect for those that have dry skin. I was a bit hesitant at first since my skin is oily but despite the cleanser feeling oily/nourishing it actually didn’t leave my skin feeling oily at all. It actually felt rather moisturized so that’s why I think this cleanser would especially benefit those who tend to have drier skins. I really look forward to using this at the start and end of my day. Like I said, the scent is simply so luxurious that you can’t help but think that you’re being pampered when you’re using this product. I definitely recommend this if you’re looking for a cleanser or wanting to try a new one out.

Price: $35

Where To Buy It: https://skinandco.com/

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Just Married!

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I’m well aware that I don’t talk too much about my personal life on my blog, mostly because I tend to be a private person unless we’re close friends and then you’re stuck with a ton of TMI you didn’t even ask for. And I’m well aware that the only times I offered some look into my personal life it was through my series, “My Bad Romance.” But I can now say that my bad romance days are over (well, they’ve been over for the past six years and hopefully stay that way).

So last Wednesday I got married!

It was an intimate ceremony at the Santa Barbara Courthouse (cause ya know, Covid restrictions) but it was still very lovely nonetheless. I mean, I couldn’t have asked for a better location to be honest (and we’re still going to have a ceremony/reception with all of our family and friends in November).

After the courthouse we headed off to my husband’s family beach house and had a beach day (when I told a friend that she said, “That’s so very California,” and I guess it is). We took a swim in the Pacific Ocean (the water was freezing but we still managed to get a little swimming in!) then we warmed up under the sun and then decided to check out the final installment of the Fear Street Trilogy, Fear Street 3: 1666. We almost went to In & Out for dinner (if you’re from Cali you know it’s THE BOMB) but didn’t only because of the ridiculous long line so we opted to have sushi instead from Sushi House which is totally BOMB too.

All in all it was a very lovely day and I’m very excited about the future. I know this isn’t my usual blog entry, but since some of you have been following my blog and writing career for a few years, I feel like I wanted to share the incredible news with my readers.

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Book Review: My Heart Is A Chainsaw by Stephen Graham Jones

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“Some girls just don’t know how to die….”

Pre-Order on Amazon!

Release Date: August 31, 2021

Publisher: Gallery/Saga Press

Price: $17.29 (hardback)

Plot Summary:

Jade Daniels is an angry, half-Indian outcast with an abusive father, an absent mother, and an entire town that wants nothing to do with her. She lives in her own world, a world in which protection comes from an unusual source: horror movies…especially the ones where a masked killer seeks revenge on a world that wronged them. And Jade narrates the quirky history of Proofrock as if it is one of those movies. But when blood actually starts to spill into the waters of Indian Lake, she pulls us into her dizzying, encyclopedic mind of blood and masked murderers, and predicts exactly how the plot will unfold.Yet, even as Jade drags us into her dark fever dream, a surprising and intimate portrait emerges…a portrait of the scared and traumatized little girl beneath the Jason Voorhees mask: angry, yes, but also a girl who easily cries, fiercely loves, and desperately wants a home. A girl whose feelings are too big for her body. My Heart Is a Chainsaw is her story, her homage to horror and revenge and triumph.

Grade: A+

Review:

The book opens with a very dark and creepy prologue – but I’ll admit that I wasn’t crazy about the two foreign tourists and was happy to meet the actual protagonist, Jade Daniels. Now Jade is everything a horror lover as myself loves, in fact had we been in high school together we would’ve had slasher sleepover parties. Jade is cool in the way that girls that love gore are – meaning her styling choices are questionable, her social skills nonexistent except when she’s spouting slasher speak and slasher trivia – and honestly I ADORE HER FOR IT.

We follow Jade – a recent high school graduate as she slowly begins to believe that a slasher film is unfolding in her very town. This convinces her to see beautiful rich girl Letha Mondragon as a potential final girl – and ultimate savior. For a slasher fan as myself I reveled in the slasher speak and pop culture references. I know many have mentioned this in other reviews, but the only fault this novel has is that it’s a slow burn.

Honestly, if Jade weren’t such a compelling character I don’t know if I would’ve enjoyed the journey so much but Jade is a total badass and I know that Jones’ delivers when it comes to horror and gore – so I patiently waited for the bloodbath. To say that Jones’ doesn’t disappoint is an understatement – if this were a movie, Jones’ budget would’ve blown just on the fake blood expense because there is SO MUCH OF IT & I AM HERE FOR IT. I mean, I directed a short where we used almost ten gallons of corn syrup, because I literally wanted to be drenched in it. And by the time you’re finished reading the gory, batshit crazy final pages you’re going to feel like you just waded in ten gallons of blood too.

Don’t walk but RUN to buy this book if you’re a fan of all 70’s & 80’s slasher flicks, cause you will LOVE this. Also, have I mentioned how awesomely badass Jade is? Go on, you know you want to get to know her! This book is fucking brutal and a wild ride.

*Thank you so much to NetGalley and Gallery/Saga Press for the digital copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

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Film Review: Fear Street 1994 & 1978

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Growing up I was a HUGE fan of R.L. Stine’s books, in particular the Fear Street series. Basically, those books were my crack and I bought at least three books a month. So when Netflix announced that they were gonna come out with three Fear Street inspired films, I knew that I was going to check it out.

From the very beginning 1994 opens with a very Scream-esque sequence – a recognizable actress is first chased and then stabbed to death by a guy dressed in a black cloak and skull mask. I didn’t mind the heavy handed reference because the inside of a mall after hours was definitely creepy. However, I was soon annoyed by the following scene where the protagonist is listening to the radio and Garbage’s “Only Happy When It Rains” in 1994, when the song came out in September of 1995. That aside, the film’s soundtrack was completely awesome if you’re a lover of 90’s music.

I loved the look of the movie and feeling like I was reliving my high school days, but what didn’t work for me was the fact it simply had too much going on. What I mean is, you have killers, ghosts, and zombies. ALL AT ONCE. It’s just too over the top.

Meanwhile, 1978 was very reminiscent of Friday the 13th franchise with the setting of a summer camp and a possessed killer that wields an ax and wears a burlap sack as a mask (which if you’re a fan of Jason Vorhees you know that he used to wear that as a mask long before he donned a hockey mask). Just like 1994, 1978 had a killer soundtrack (lots of Bowie, and lots of Bowie references, my heart was full). But what made this film superior to 1994 was that it had better fleshed out characters, and I was more invested in these characters than I was in the previous film. Not to mention that this installment mostly focused on ONE possessed killer rather than have a smorgasbord of all things spooky.

FEAR STREET PART 2: 1978 – Cr: Netflix © 2021

I’m really looking forward to the third and final film, 1666. I truly hope that the film is based off of R.L. Stine’s origin saga, The Betrayal, The Secret, and The Burning because those books were truly top notch for MG and it really explained by Fear Street became so cursed (I’m looking at you Goode!).

Let me know if you’ve checked these films out or any of the books when you were young! I’d love to talk more about all things Fear Street!

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Poetry: Love Does Kill

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Photo by Ivan Samkov on Pexels.com

Long ago, in a lost dream,

I saw myself dying.

The look of surprise and pain crossed my face;

(The blade went down.)

It punctured my heart.

All the lies that you told me,

at that moment seemed so trivial.

All the hurt that you had done to me,

at that moment was all forgotten.

(The blade came down harder.)

It reached my lonely soul,

My screams of agony diffused with your own.

This death so slowly;

It hurts me even more.

Why did my love have to eliminate my soul?

All of my tender, love, care; caused this killer

to leave me bare.

(The blade comes down, once more.)

Farewell, to this tormented love.

Did you enjoy this poem? You can find this poem and many others in Bleed Like Me: Poems for the Broken

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