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I read the novella that this movie is based on, Max Booth III’s “We Need to Do Something.” And I’ll admit that in this case, you may want to see the movie prior to reading the novella, only because the film follows the novella very closely, so the surprise factor will be gone. However, this didn’t completely spoil my viewing of the film because I was very curious to see how the filmmaker would direct certain scenes.
As we’re in full hurricane season, watching a film about a family who decides to hole themselves up in a bathroom to brace a storm is very fitting. For 90 minutes we watch the horror unfold as a very dysfunctional family have to try to stay in the same room for what seems to be days. Pat Healy plays the alcoholic father who loses his mind once he runs out of booze, Vinessa Shaw plays the mother, a Pollyanna-type figure who clearly doesn’t want to admit that bad shit is happening even when she’s soaked in blood, Sierra McCormick is the resident goth Mel who is plagued by guilt over a supposed-spell gone wrong, and finally John James Cronin is younger brother Bobby who seems to have been plucked out of a 50’s sitcom and feels a bit out of place for such a movie.
The whole premise of the movie is that we, the audience, don’t know what the fuck is going on beyond the bathroom door, but some gnarly crazy shit is happening there that we’re never made privy of. The element of the unknown is what keeps the film going, and as we’re bombarded by flashbacks of Mel and girlfriend Amy casting several incantations (and in horror movies, this is code for, shit is going to get bad real fast) we have to try to stitch the pieces together and try to understand what the hell is happening.
The movie’s strength is in the characters and the setting. The only time you’re taken a bit out of the story is when the director rely on special effects that probably due to budgeting issues, aren’t as effective as they should be. The film’s climax (as well as the novella’s climax) is the chilliest scene you’ve seen in awhile. Not to mention, if you’re a rockfan, you’ll readily recognize Ozzy’s voice (and it’s used for the best purpose ever). But overall it’s an enjoyable, dark ride, and I would recommend for you to check it out if you’re a fan of confinement horror, and highly suggest you read the novella the film is based on because it seriously delivers on the chills.
You can now stream on demand on most major streaming services.
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The excerpt below is from the short story, “Comets Tear the Skies.”
PROLOGUE
When I open my eyes, I have legs.
“The operation was successful,” the doctor beams.
I lift the white sheet with tentative fingers, and peek at my new set of legs. I had seen them in photos and in movies, prior, but on me they look foreign, almost hideous. I try to raise one but am unable to.
“Don’t,” the doctor says. “You’ll have time to learn how to use them before your mission begins.”
“I leave in two months. Is that enough time?”
“Yes, we’ve had some patients running within a month!”
I’m impressed. Maybe it won’t be so difficult after all. If I can manage the pain. I take another look beneath the sheet. They’re there, two perfectly toned pair of legs with a little drawing of a daisy chain circling around my right ankle.
“You couldn’t get rid of that?”
“Unfortunately, no, we were unable to remove that. But it won’t interfere with anything. It’s just a feeble embellishment.”
And also a constant reminder of the former owner of these legs.
But I don’t say that to the doctor. He seems so pleased with himself and the result of my operation. I don’t want to burst his bubble.
“Don’t worry about it, besides you can cover it up with clothes afterwards,” he says to me as though he’s read my mind. “Have you decided what name you’ll use during your mission?”
I manage a tiny smile and nod.
“Brenda,” I say. “My name is Brenda.” The name sounds foreign to me, much like my legs, but it reminds me of a character from the TV series I’ve been watching with the other missionaries to learn the new language. A name that will help me fit in.
“Your new life starts now, Brenda,” the doctor says. “We’re all aware of the great sacrifice you had to make in order to be chosen for this mission. Don’t think that our community isn’t humbled by your courage. You’re strong. You should be honored that you passed the selection process. Not many do.”
I sigh, thinking about the abomination below the sheet. What may seem like an honor to some, feels more like a curse to me.
But I can’t think like that.
No.
I’m a new person now.
And in a couple of months I’ll be bound for Earth.
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What It Does: De-puffs and Brightens the eye area.
Active Ingredients: Avocado, Shea Butter, and Beta-Carotene
Verdict: It’s no surprise that avocado is a superfood when it comes to nourishing the skin with its hefty dose of Vitamin C and Oleic Acid (a healthy fat) it helps prevent wrinkles and sun damage. Also, it’s fucking delicious to eat, so it’s basically a miracle fruit. So when I had the chance to try out Kiehl’s avocado eye cream I couldn’t be more stoked. This eye cream is hella hydrating and rich. It’s the sort of eye cream that you put on at night cause it’s far too fatty and thick to sit well beneath makeup. Waking up after eight hours of this cream soaking into my skin feels like bliss. The skin is rejuvinated, nourished, and hydrated. Plus, it tackles fine lines like a pro. Like I said, avocado is a miracle fruit and Kiehl’s just managed to package it in a form of a very effective eye cream.
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Between the ages of 11-14 I readily devoured all things R.L. Stine at a speed that would make anyone’s head spin like Regan’s in The Exorcist. I was also very lucky to have a dad that didn’t mind shelling out hundreds of dollars a year to sustain my R.L. Stine book addiction. And although many people loved Goosebumps, I was always a Fear Street stan and out of all the stories within that series my absolute favorite was what I dubbed as the “Fear Street Cheerleaders.” meaning “The First Evil,” “The Second Evil,” and “The Third Evil.”
Maybe it was nostalgia sparked by the recent viewing of Netflix’s Fear Street films, but I found myself compelled to reread the first book of a series that I so dearly loved and whose creepiness has followed throughout the years.
“The First Evil,” is about the Corcoran sisters, Corky and Bobbi are newly transplants from Missouri to Shadyside and live on the unfortunate street called Fear Street. The two sisters were cheerleading sensations at their former high school and hope to recreate their past success at their new school, only the cheerleaders at Shadyside aren’t so easily won over by the charming Corcoran sisters, especially Kimmy (second in line to becoming Cheerleader captain). Thankfully, they manage to win over the coach’s and Cheerleading Captain Jennifer’s hearts and secure themselves a spot on the team.
Things take an ugly turn when Jennifer becomes paralyzed after a bus accident and Bobbi takes over as the Cheerleading Captain which enrages Kimmy even more. Soon, sinister things begin to happen and the reader isn’t sure if it’s teenage bullying or an evil entity (cause ya know, teenage girls can be as cruel as a demon).
YA has come a long way since R.L. Stine was penning his chilling stories, so I quickly realized how very “dumbed down” the writing was in regards to today’s YA selections (I also believe that nowadays, YA is simply a genre that has a teen protagonist but many times the writing level in the novel is on par with that of adult fiction). Despite the simple writing and one dimensional characters, Stine excels when it comes to painting a sinister picture, and he’s the master of the innovative causes of death (and the reason why all of my phobias have originated from his books).
The Fear Street Cheerleaders is a series that has heavily influenced my writing especially my most recent completed manuscript, “Girl that You Fear,” where Spencer Torres (also a cheerleader) becomes possessed by an ancient demon (and in honor of Corky and Bobbi, beautiful girls with seemingly masculine names, is why Spencer was my only choice when it came to naming my protagonist).
I only read “The First Evil,” one time when I was 12, but re-reading it now almost twenty years later, I recalled many of the events that occurred (especially a particular death in a locker room shower). Overall, “The First Evil,” continued to be a thrilling ride and I noticed that two more books have been added to the series since the last time I read it, so I’m eager to find out what else lies in store for Cory Corcoran and her hapless group of cheerleaders.
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This summer has been quite a whirlwind and I’ll be busy road tripping for the next two weeks, so I’ve decided to take another short hiatus! But don’t worry, The Inblotters will be back TUESDAY, AUGUST 24! In the meantime, stay safe my friends!
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What It Does: Cleanse, Purify, Nourishing, and Brightening.
Active Ingredients: Sulfate-free, Sweet Almond Oil, Chamomile, Black Winter Truffle Extract, and Mallow Leaf
Verdict: I can’t recall if I was sent this in an Allure Beauty Box or if this was part of a Fab Fit Fun Box, but whatever the case is, the first thing you will notice about this cleanser is the AMAZING SCENT. It simply smells so luscious and expensive, and I guess it’s no surprise that it’s made in Italy. This cleanser is silky smooth, not a gel, so it’s perfect for those that have dry skin. I was a bit hesitant at first since my skin is oily but despite the cleanser feeling oily/nourishing it actually didn’t leave my skin feeling oily at all. It actually felt rather moisturized so that’s why I think this cleanser would especially benefit those who tend to have drier skins. I really look forward to using this at the start and end of my day. Like I said, the scent is simply so luxurious that you can’t help but think that you’re being pampered when you’re using this product. I definitely recommend this if you’re looking for a cleanser or wanting to try a new one out.
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I’m well aware that I don’t talk too much about my personal life on my blog, mostly because I tend to be a private person unless we’re close friends and then you’re stuck with a ton of TMI you didn’t even ask for. And I’m well aware that the only times I offered some look into my personal life it was through my series, “My Bad Romance.” But I can now say that my bad romance days are over (well, they’ve been over for the past six years and hopefully stay that way).
So last Wednesday I got married!
It was an intimate ceremony at the Santa Barbara Courthouse (cause ya know, Covid restrictions) but it was still very lovely nonetheless. I mean, I couldn’t have asked for a better location to be honest (and we’re still going to have a ceremony/reception with all of our family and friends in November).
After the courthouse we headed off to my husband’s family beach house and had a beach day (when I told a friend that she said, “That’s so very California,” and I guess it is). We took a swim in the Pacific Ocean (the water was freezing but we still managed to get a little swimming in!) then we warmed up under the sun and then decided to check out the final installment of the Fear Street Trilogy, Fear Street 3: 1666. We almost went to In & Out for dinner (if you’re from Cali you know it’s THE BOMB) but didn’t only because of the ridiculous long line so we opted to have sushi instead from Sushi House which is totally BOMB too.
All in all it was a very lovely day and I’m very excited about the future. I know this isn’t my usual blog entry, but since some of you have been following my blog and writing career for a few years, I feel like I wanted to share the incredible news with my readers.
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Jade Daniels is an angry, half-Indian outcast with an abusive father, an absent mother, and an entire town that wants nothing to do with her. She lives in her own world, a world in which protection comes from an unusual source: horror movies…especiallythe ones where a masked killer seeks revenge on a world that wronged them. And Jade narrates the quirky history of Proofrock as if it is one of those movies. But when blood actuallystarts to spill into the waters of Indian Lake, she pulls us into her dizzying, encyclopedic mind of blood and masked murderers, and predicts exactly how the plot will unfold.Yet, even as Jade drags us into her dark fever dream, a surprising and intimate portrait emerges…a portrait of the scared and traumatized little girl beneath the Jason Voorhees mask: angry, yes, but also a girl who easily cries, fiercely loves, and desperately wants a home. A girl whose feelings are too big for her body. My Heart Is a Chainsawis her story, her homage to horror and revenge and triumph.
Grade: A+
Review:
The book opens with a very dark and creepy prologue – but I’ll admit that I wasn’t crazy about the two foreign tourists and was happy to meet the actual protagonist, Jade Daniels. Now Jade is everything a horror lover as myself loves, in fact had we been in high school together we would’ve had slasher sleepover parties. Jade is cool in the way that girls that love gore are – meaning her styling choices are questionable, her social skills nonexistent except when she’s spouting slasher speak and slasher trivia – and honestly I ADORE HER FOR IT.
We follow Jade – a recent high school graduate as she slowly begins to believe that a slasher film is unfolding in her very town. This convinces her to see beautiful rich girl Letha Mondragon as a potential final girl – and ultimate savior. For a slasher fan as myself I reveled in the slasher speak and pop culture references. I know many have mentioned this in other reviews, but the only fault this novel has is that it’s a slow burn.
Honestly, if Jade weren’t such a compelling character I don’t know if I would’ve enjoyed the journey so much but Jade is a total badass and I know that Jones’ delivers when it comes to horror and gore – so I patiently waited for the bloodbath. To say that Jones’ doesn’t disappoint is an understatement – if this were a movie, Jones’ budget would’ve blown just on the fake blood expense because there is SO MUCH OF IT & I AM HERE FOR IT. I mean, I directed a short where we used almost ten gallons of corn syrup, because I literally wanted to be drenched in it. And by the time you’re finished reading the gory, batshit crazy final pages you’re going to feel like you just waded in ten gallons of blood too.
Don’t walk but RUN to buy this book if you’re a fan of all 70’s & 80’s slasher flicks, cause you will LOVE this. Also, have I mentioned how awesomely badass Jade is? Go on, you know you want to get to know her! This book is fucking brutal and a wild ride.
*Thank you so much to NetGalley and Gallery/Saga Press for the digital copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
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The Inkblotters 