Every time you speak of the future
We’re to share
You forget to say we
But continue
To say
I.
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I drink your favourite cocktail
Thinking that maybe I can taste you.
I wander around London, looking for you, I fail.
Yearning to kill my emotions—aspiring for something new.
Laying on the floor completely drained
Of any feeling to go on.
Cut my hair to disguise my former self.
But my love for you keeps me forever chained.
Staring like an idiot at a blank TV screen
I conjure up your image in my dreams.
And I wish I could just blot you out
But instead I keep on wanting you.
You never seem to accidentally bump into me
I’ll bet you keep yourself protected from me.
If only you’d understand the effect
Your lack of affection has had on me.
Yes, I’ve stopped eating again
An anorexic pin-up girl is what I’ve become.
Smoking makes me hide
And so I feel less pain inside.
Do you think I’m pathetic?
Do you feel any remorse?
Hitting walls out of frustration dilutes the strain
Nothing on the sheets but solitary blood stains.
And I know you love me.
If you’d only comprehend
I’m not trying to force you
But I know you want me.
Wrapping satin sheets around me
Your scent still clings to them.
Bastard night! I detest you because
You make me feel more lonely when you fall.
So even if you hate me
I don’t want to hear it.
I only want you here beside me.
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Will I ever have that moment
Where I’ll become
Someone’s safe harbor
I wish to be the port
Someone unloads the secrets
You reveal at 3a.m.
Over cigarettes and coffee
Will I ever have that moment
Where I’ll become
Someone’s safe harbor
Where the sight of my port
Will bring the greatest relief
After weathering storms
Will I ever have that moment
Before my time runs out?
Did you enjoy this poem? You can find this poem and many others in Bleed Like Me: Poems for the Broken
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Smoking with your aristocratic manner,
I gaze at your magnificence.
The world of tinted roses has become
Butterflies circle around you with divinity.
I fall into the moment
I fall into the mist
I fall into the mystery
I fall into you.
Smoking with your sophisticated manner,
I try to paint your face within my mind,
So that it remains milk fresh inside my adoring eyes.
I’m hiding beneath the smoke
That fogs this room.
I’m crawling beneath the smoke
To reach you.
I fall into this madness
I fall into the insane
I fall into you.
Smoking ever so seductively,
I’m trying to contain my runaway emotions
For I am afraid that they could harm you.
I’m hiding beneath the smoke
That fills this room.
I’m fading beneath the smoke
In order to reach you.
I fall to the ground
I fall to your feet
I keep on falling….
Falling into you.
***
Did you enjoy this poem? You can find this poem and many others in Bleed Like Me: Poems for the Broken
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The neon pink hand beckons the night
as the clock sways to midnight blue.
His time has come to assume a disguise, puckering cherry
lips and setting the wig on his head. Glitter
dances across the golden ringlets, velvet
hugs his silicone bosom like a faery.
Jack piles more makeup on his face, with faery
eyes that shimmers night,
he grabs his red velvet
bag as he closes the door to the blue
feelings that he’s left inside. For the glitter
emotions dipped in cherry
wine and spread across pallid thighs, convert to cherry
cream resting on ethereal faery
wings that covet glitter
dreams of passionate nights
spent in burning bliss. The blue
tears no longer dripping on the velvet.
Drinking champagne from cupped hands, velvet
scarves pin his lover to the cherry
bed, until he begs for more. The blue
emotions disappear like unchained faeries.
Flying into the lusty night
dusting his lover’s eyes with Star Dust glitter.
Sensuous fingers trace over glittered
flesh, pouring scalding wax from velvet
candles. His lover whimpers into the night
as Jack toys with a candied cherry.
He now has the power of faeries
to kiss away the broken blues.
The clock has struck. It’s time for the blue
veils to fall upon the glittered
fantasies of his soul, his faery
wings have been singed, his red velvet
bag carries the remains of his cherry
pits, to remind him of sadistic nights.
The hour has come to assume the blue disguise until tomorrow night
When he can douse himself with glitter, fill his palms with cherries,
And transform into a lovely faery that whispers poetry in ears like velvet.
Did you enjoy this poem? You can find this poem and many others in Bleed Like Me: Poems for the Broken
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My blistered fingers tremble
They cannot cling to your adulterous flesh.
Death is my coveted cradle.
While Hades sings to me my lullaby.
I spend the night stitching with black thread
I stitch my severed limbs together.
I try to revive my dead skin
The smell of burning corpses
Makes me feel intoxicated.
There’s nothing left here
Only filth and grime.
All the putrid life of the Tiber nourishes me.
Broken shadows from my past invade my dark dreams.
I fall inside the mouth of Hell
Crossing the river Styx with my sentinel.
None of this would’ve befallen me
If you hadn’t plucked my blinded eyes.
If you hadn’t polarized my mind.
If you hadn’t crucified my heart.
Now that I’m at the stake
The flames closing in to devour me.
I wonder if you consider your cruel act a mistake
Or did you murder me in your heart long before?
Did you enjoy this poem? You can find this poem and many others in Bleed Like Me: Poems for the Broken
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I warned you near the brook.
I’ve seen her evil smile and piercing look.
The gushing of a red drop
That never ceases to stop.
She tastes of poison beams
Her scarlet passion steams.
Those brown eyes and locks of auburn
Causes your head to turn.
I’m sick of this neglect
You make me feel like a worthless reject.
She keeps diamonds in her eyes
Tries to covet secret spies.
Drink in her beauty and sacred stars
She’s bound to burst your mortal bars.
Have you ever hear of her woeful tale?
Of how she’s been left with a tormented bale?
Her lover killed her fragile heart
Leaving it to become a mass of tart.
She bears the crown of outcast queen,
But I’ll bet this side you’ve never seen.
Little Miss Perfection down to the bone
You’d never imagine how she feels so alone.
Stop trying to force her into love
Her past isn’t as pure as a dove.
Scars of former lovers adorn her shorn
Depicting just how savagely she’s been torn.
I warned you all along
She’s like a creepy Turin fog.
Don’t fall into her delicate hands
For soon, you too, will no longer stand.
She’s full of anger and violent stems
She wears thorns as diadems.
I will not ask of you to kill
As she most certainly will,
Your deepest purest emotions
To be replaced by her evil notions.
Runaway innocent boy, before you’re caught
For pretty soon she’ll invade your thoughts.
***
Did you enjoy this poem? You can find this poem and many others in Bleed Like Me: Poems for the Broken
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Dear Manuel,
Here I must confess
All that I’ve ever desired to.
My emotional state is one turmoil mess.
I’m in a state of confusion,
That I don’t even know with whom I mesh.
I keep on falling behind
With no chances to run and hide.
My dreams of glory fog my mind
But to my disgrace,
I’m only a legend in my own mind.
I long for purity but I practice sex.
I crave for love but it’s lust that I get.
Not caring for myself.
But yet I’m said to have a narcissistic disorder.
Conventional beauty wrapped
Around an anti-conformist mind.
Confusion-confusion-confusion
I kiss so many but love no one.
The ones that are closest to me
Are the ones that hurt me the most.
The ones that are the farthest from me
Are the ones that I yearn for their attention.
Sorry, for my lament
I wouldn’t have confessed my sins
If I wouldn’t feel that you’re the other side of me.
You’re my secret identity.
My mask—
I am hiding behind your grandeur.
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He had so much love for me
That it often made him crazy
Yelling from the streets
Like Marlon Brando
Shouting, “Stella!”
He had so much love for me
That he wasn’t sure how to suffocate it
Often his mannerisms were crude
Thinking that I owed him
Affection, thinking he were
Marlon Brando and who always
Got the girl
He had so much love for me
That it poisoned him from the inside
Because rejection was seen as disdain
But pity has no place for passion
Nor can a friendship be forced
Into a relationship
Because he wasn’t Marlon Brando
And the script I wrote
Didn’t cast him as the hero
He merely had a supporting role
I didn’t want him at my premiere
Nor did I want him shouting
Beneath my window, “Stella!”
Thinking he were Marlon Brando.
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I would drown myself,
If I knew,
That it would eliminate you.
I would drown myself,
Even if,
I would regret it.
Maybe for once I’d be in peace.
With you, out of my head.
I’m only sane if I don’t sleep,
Because that’s where you creep.
Sleepless nights,
Wakeful days,
I must remain this way.
I would drown myself,
If I was sure,
That it would make me pure.
I would drown myself,
If I was certain,
That you would finally leave me alone.
The Inkblotters 