December 7

I hit the brakes, my car fishtailing on the slippery road. I come to a stop just inches from the car before me.

Ah, the hazards of winter in Michigan and Detroit drivers who think snow is a reason to hit the gas.

I cock my head and see an accident just a few cars in front of me. A man is out of his car, screaming into the window of the car he hit.

Merry Christmas!

I take a breath, sip my coffee—which miraculously didn’t spill—hit my blinker and wait to merge into the next lane.

That’s when I notice it: the abandoned house I drive by every day to work.

There are many abandoned homes in many forgotten neighborhoods in this proud city whose shoulders were slumped by the mortgage crisis, layoffs in the auto industry and never-ending

winters that used to be as brutal and mind-numbing as a Detroit Lions football season.  Neighborhoods stand like ghost towns, and, in winter, they look even sadder, the grass dead, the green gone, broken glass shimmering in the sun before the snow arrives to cover their remains.

This particular home is a three-story redbrick beauty that looks like a castle. The windows are broken, the walls are collapsing and yet the wooden staircase—visible to the world— remains intact. I slow down just enough every day to admire the finials, worn and shining from the hands that have polished them over the years. 

There is a line of shattered windows just above the ground, and as you pass by, you catch a glimmer of red in the basement. Coming the opposite way, you swear you can see a man smiling. 

I stopped years ago to investigate. I parked, careful to avoid nails, and wound my way in high heels through the weeds to the broken window. I knelt and peeked into the basement.

Santa!

A plastic molded Santa smiled at me. It was a vintage mold—like the one my grandparents centered in the middle of a wreath on their front door every year—of a cheery Santa with red cheeks, blue eyes, green gloves, holding a candy cane tied in a golden bow.

I scanned the basement. Boxes were still stacked everywhere.

Tubs were marked Christmas!

In the corner of the basement sat a sign overrun with cobwebs that read Santa’s Toy Shop!

December 1975

“They’re here! They’re here!”

My voice echoed through my grandparents’ house. I ran to the front door, grabbed the first catalog, which seemed to weigh nearly as much as I did, and tottered down the steep basement stairs. Back up I went to retrieve the next one from Mr. Haley, the postman, who looked exactly like Captain Kangaroo.

“Don’t move!” I said, disappearing and returning moments later.

Then back down the stairs I scrambled once again.

Mr. Haley laughed when I returned the final time, out of breath.

“Last one,” he said. “Oh, and a bunch of Christmas cards for your grandmother.”

I bent over, panting, as if I’d just done wind sprints on the track.

“Tired?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No! Think of what Santa carries! Not to mention what you carry every day!”

“You got me there,” he said. “Here’s the cards. I’ll see you tomorrow. Merry Christmas!”

I watched him trudge through the freshly fallen snow, just enough to dust the world in white. If there’s one thing we never had to worry about in our town of Frankenmuth, it was a white Christmas. My dad said it was one of the gifts of living in a Christmas wonderland.

“Merry Christmas, Mr. Haley!” I yelled, my breath coming out in puffs.

I shut the door, tossed the cards on the telephone desk sitting in the foyer and hightailed it back down to the basement.

I looked at the catalogs where I’d set them on the shag carpet and ran around them in a happy circle doing a little jig.

I turned on the electric fireplace. It was so cool, fake brick, and it just faded into the Z-BRICK walls. The flames seemed

to dance, even though they weren’t real.

I went over to the card table where my grandparents played games—bridge, canasta, hearts—and I grabbed my marker from a cup.

The red one.

The one I used every year.

The one Santa would recognize.

I took a seat on the orange shag and arranged the catalogs in a semicircle around me: the Christmas catalogs from JCPenney and Monkey Wards, and my favorite, the Sears Wish Book.

The catalogs were heavy and thick, big as the Buick my grandpa drove. They were brand-new and all mine. I began to f lip through the crisp pages, turning quickly to the ones that showed all the toys, clothes and games I wanted for Christmas.

I was lost for hours in the pages, dreaming, hoping, wishing. “Yes, yes, yes!” I said, my marker in constant motion.

“Are you using a red marker so Santa will see?”

I looked up, and my dad was standing over me. He was tall, hair as fair as mine. He had just gotten off work. He was an accountant at a car dealership, and he never seemed happy when he got home from work.

Until he came down to my grandparents’ basement. 

“Of course!” I said. “Finn gets green. I use red!”

“So what do you want Santa to bring you this year?”

 I patted the carpet, and my dad took a seat next to me. I began showing him all the things I’d marked in the wish catalogs.

 “I want this eight-room dollhouse, and, oh! this Shaun Cassidy phono with sing-along microphone and this battery-operated sewing machine! It’s the first ever like this!” I stopped,

took a deep breath and continued, “And this dress, and this Raggedy Ann doll, but—” I stopped again, flipping through pages as quickly as I could “—more than anything I want this

game called Simon. It’s computer controlled, Daddy! It’s like Simon Says, and you have to be really fast, and…”

“Slow down,” he said, rubbing my back. “And what about your brother?”

“What about him?”

“What does he want?”

“He’ll want all the stupid stuff boys like,” I said. “Stars Wars figurines, an erector set, a Nerf rocket and probably a drum set.”

My father winced at the last suggestion.

“Maybe a scooter instead,” my dad suggested. “What do you think?”

“Good idea, Daddy.” I placed my hands over my ears. 

He laughed and stood up.

“Hey?” I asked. “What do you want for Christmas?”

My dad headed over to the workshop he had on the other side of the basement. We lived in a small ranch house on the other side of town that didn’t have a basement, much less any extra room. My grandparents let my father convert this space a few years ago so he could pursue a second career and his true passion: Christmas.

“You know what I want,” he said with a smile.

My dad picked up a sign and turned it my way. It was a handcarved wooden sign that read Frohe Weihnachten! Frankenmuth is a Bavarian town filled with all things German: a wooden bridge flowing over a charming river, a glockenspiel that—on the hour—played the Westminster chimes followed by an entire show complete with dancing figurines,

a cheese haus and competing chicken-and-noodle restaurants. I was named Henrietta, my father Jakob, my brother, Finn. Only my mother, Debbie, escaped the German name game with the

very American moniker.

“What’s this mean, Henri?” my dad asked.

“Merry Christmas,” I said.

“And what do I want?”

“Christmas all year long.”

“Exactly,” he said. “Just like you. Except as a grown-up.” He looked at his sign. “That’s my Christmas wish.”

For a long time, everyone thought this was just a hobby of my father’s, sort of like other dads tinkered on car engines, went fishing or coached baseball. For an even longer time, people thought my dad was nuts.

Why would a man spend all of his time creating Christmas signs in July, or designing ornaments in March?

They didn’t know my dad.

They didn’t how serious he was, that he often worked until three in the morning from October through December and countless weekends the rest of the year.

“You have a good job, Jakob,” friends would tell him. “Don’t ruin your life over some silly notion.”

But my mom and grandparents believed in him just as much as I believed in Santa.

I watched my father work. As he did, he began to whistle Christmas tunes.

The world was finally catching up with my father’s dream.

He was now creating window displays for two of the biggest stores in town: Shepherd Woolen Mill and Koch’s Country Store.

Excerpted from The Wishing Bridge. Copyright © 2023 by Viola Shipman. Published by Graydon House, an imprint of HarperCollins.

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PART ONE: SUMMER IN THE CITY

In New York City near the southwest corner of 63rd Street and Madison Avenue, there is a restaurant called Stella’s and when everything started, I was sitting in one of its coveted lime-green velvet booths.

It was coming on ten at night, and I was drinking a lemongrass daiquiri. In all my years on the planet up to that point, I’d never touched lemongrass or daiquiris. Until that summer. That summer it seemed like it’s all I drank.

“Should I get you ladies started on a new one?” asked our waiter.

Our waiter was named Tommy, and he was a fortysomething Italian guy with slicked back hair who had the vaguely menacing solemn look of a Sopranos extra. But intimidating demeanor aside, he was always exceptionally nice to us. And when I say us, I mean my work cubicle mate, Priscilla Hutton, who was sitting across from me.

Priscilla and Tommy were actually old pals as she had been partying here at Stella’s since her Birch Wathen Lenox private high school days.

I did some high school partying myself back in my small town in Kentucky. Just never at a place that had nine-thousand-dollar bottles of champagne on the menu and a VIP room described in New York magazine as “Hollywood East.”

“The answer to that is yes, Tommy,” Priscilla said. “My friend and I need two fresh jolts stat. If that’s okay with you, Faye.”

Sometimes I wonder about that question. I wonder about what would have happened if I’d gone back to my apartment instead of accepting.

Or even more importantly, about what wouldn’t have.

“I’m game if you are,” I said, smiling.

The second drink order surprised me. We usually had only one polite drink at the end of the week here, down the street from our job, and then parted ways.

It was part of our unspoken deal. I hooked up Priscilla by handling all of our incredibly high-pressure work stuff, and Priscilla hooked me up by letting me hang out with her a little.

Even though I was totally carrying her, it was a good deal on both ends because Priscilla was gorgeous and rich and knew everyone in New York. She’d actually been in society pages like Avenue magazine ever since high school, each time tan and perfect in an effortlessly stylish outfit that she just threw on after a day spent surfing or skiing or at the spa.

Priscilla was also one of those people who had that voice, that eastern establishment rich person voice, that some call Transatlantic or Boston Brahmin or Locust Valley lockjaw. Not a ton of it, not a pretentious amount, just a sophisticated hint, an elegant tinge, just enough.

It made her sound like a young Lauren Bacall or Bette Davis or someone. I loved just listening to her. It made you feel a little special just to hear her confide in you, as if only for a few moments, you were in the privileged people club, too.

I really didn’t even know why Priscilla had applied for, let alone accepted, our summer internship. It was extremely hard work, and she was kind of a ditz, so why not just take the Instagram influencer route? I often wondered.

I think it had something to do with her father’s business, some defense contractor aerospace company in Connecticut that made airplane parts. Maybe she needed some finance experience to become an executive there? Not that she had told me any of this, but I did have internet access.

She even pretended to be my friend. She shared fashion advice with me, which was a sorely needed lesson. And she also told me all these incredible stories about her days in prep school and Yale and Palm Beach and the Hamptons.

At least at the office. When she was in the mood.

“But another?” I said as Tommy left. “That’s okay, Priscilla. I know you have things to do. I should be going.”

“No, not yet. I owe you big time, Kemosabe. If you hadn’t remembered to recheck the Westland account for me before it went to the treasury team, that Aiken would have dragged me up the stairs of the boiler room by the scruff of my neck.”

It was true. She had screwed up big time. One of our biggest hedge fund clients wanted $130 million wired into their Cayman account, but Priscilla had boneheadedly put in the account numbers of a completely different fund instead. Getting a number wrong here and there wasn’t a problem. Sending money into another fund’s account was. If it had gone through, the money could have instantly disappeared without a trace with no way to unwind it, and our client could have been out $130 million.

“Oh, that,” I said. “Don’t mention it. Anytime. I was looking for something to do anyway.”

That’s when Priscilla looked at me, and we both completely lost it.

Oh, we laughed then all right. Practically until the lemongrass came from our nostrils.

Looking for something to do, I thought, shaking my aching head.

That was a phrase I used way back in the normal life I led before I accepted the summer internship at the venerated Wall Street private investment bank, Greene Brothers Hale, nearly three months before.

Our musty-smelling windowless basement office a few blocks down Madison Avenue really did look like a boiler room or maybe something out of a Dickens poorhouse. Only with computers and phones on our cheap desks instead of dusty ledger books.

And out of these electronic torture devices, all day—for pretty much twelve hours straight from eighty-seven different pissed-off, stressed-out directions at once—came numbers.

The stress and anger directed our way was due to the fact that the numbers represented money. Profoundly massive amounts of money from hedge funds or institutional investors or just really, really rich people. This money either needed to be placed into our bank’s fat cat VIP client accounts or taken out of them and sent other places, places like the Cayman Islands or Switzerland.

You’d think this given task was simple enough like we were mere bank tellers, just moving around much larger sums.

But you would be wrong.

Each incoming or outgoing bank transfer had to be placed in its proper slot. Each one processed through a verification process wrapped in an amount of red tape to make your eyes bleed. Emails with these numbers had to go to the proper people for due diligence verifications. All in the proper order. Yesterday. Or else.

It was the volume of the orders. It was staggering. The air traffic controllers out at Kennedy airport had less to juggle.

Or maybe it was the unhinged wrath of the psychopathic traders and other finance people on the upper floors of our building who kept calling down to see if the transfers had cleared.

Where the hell was the money? they wanted to know. What the hell was wrong with us? Did they actually have to f-ing come down there?

Every morning when I sat down and looked at my newly filled inbox of waiting orders, I thought about the Greek hero, Sisyphus, cursed to eternally roll his rock up that hill.

In envy.

Was he a summer Wall Street intern, too? I would wonder.

And did I mention all of this labor and misery was being extracted from me gratis?

That was the kicker. Since it was an unpaid internship, we were only doing it for the possibility of maybe getting a full-time entry level job as a junior investment analyst.

My skin was being flayed for free.

As I sat there that Friday, attempting to cool my smoking brain with rum and lemongrass syrup, I couldn’t help feeling like I’d been duped.

Because I thought I was going to be a swashbuckling Wall Street pirate.

Instead, I’d been shanghaied and thrown into the slave galley to row.

Excerpted from The Girl in the Vault. Copyright © 2023 by Michael Ledwidge. Published by Hanover Square Press, an imprint of HarperCollins.

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ATHENA

The best day of someone’s life is always the worst day of somebody else’s. This is especially true at a wedding—even more so when you’re separated.

Since her college graduation, Athena had been a bridesmaid in seventeen weddings. Twenty, if you count being in the house party, which Athena never did since it was the same as making it onto the junior varsity team, a consolation prize, an afterthought. Not bad, but not good enough for the big time.

For most of her twenties, she’d done the whole hog, Katherine Heigl, 27 Dresses. An overpriced and cheaply made gown for every wedding she’s been in, except for the one right after she came out, where the bride insisted Athena wear a tux so that the bride could showcase her acceptance and allyship to the one lesbian she’d ever known.

Now, at thirty-three—her Jesus year, as her mother so constantly reminds her—Athena drives down a Floridian highway full of billboards advertising Heaven and Hell to be a bridesmaid in her eighteenth wedding. Her longtime family friend, Daisy, is getting married in Watercolor, Florida, a sprawling beachside resort with large, spaced-out, two-story vacation homes, each painted in a distinct pastel color, like, as the name suggests, a watercolor palette. The wedding party had made their mantra for the weekend: Best Wedding Ever in the History of Weddings.

Athena knew that, for her, this could never be true. The best wedding Athena had been in was her own. To Sydnee. The great light of her life.

It was nothing like the other weddings, with their churches and their pomp and circumstance. It was small and full of lights that twinkled from tree branches and wrapped around columns on the back porch of Athena’s parents’ house. They didn’t need a priest, they had their best friend, Deacon, marry them, and he recited Dickinson instead of Second Corinthians, and they danced on the grass in bare feet until the neighbors complained about the noise. There was no prayer, but they still felt blessed.

It was the happiest day of Athena’s life.

Now, after six years, they are divorcing. The papers are due in the mail next week. They have been separated for eight months, and soon it will be official.

Divorce does not suit Athena. She’s been too busy burying herself in work to do anything about it. It’s as if she believes that sorting through the fragments of Emily Dickinson’s envelope poems in her tiny, dimly lit cubicle at the University of Houston can help heal her heartbreak without her ever having to face it straight on.

There’s always a snag, though, some little reminder of Sydnee, who never particularly liked literature. She did, however, love Athena and how much she loved Dickinson, so she had a few favorite poems of her own: Split the Lark—

and you’ll find the Music—was a much-loved line between the two of them.

“I like the way it sounds,” Sydnee explained. “It’s weird. Twisted.”

“Unnecessary bloodshed, uncanny music,” Athena said after they first moved into their house in Montrose when they settled down in Houston, a few months before their marriage. Athena was organizing her books and flipping through the pages of the poet’s collection. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of her.”

“And me?” Sydnee rested her head in her hand, her hair swaying to one side, a curtain of darkness.

“Maybe after seven lifetimes, I’ll start to get bored,” Athena said, and Sydnee smiled, and they came together like Athena thought they would continue to do for the rest of their lives.

When she comes across the line, or anything similar (I split the dew—But took the morn), her heart cleaves, an open wound. She tries to hide from it, but it always finds her eventually. Not even her most sacred pleasures are safe from the pain of separation.

As Athena drives, she imagines her mother would tell her to snap out of the past and keep her eyes peeled on the present. It’s your Jesus year, Thene, she could almost hear her mother saying through a jaw tensed with superstition. Her mother is obsessed with the concept and terrified of it, too. Thirty-three was Jesus’s age when he was crucified, betrayed by his friends, strung up for all the world to see. It feels like a warning to her. Nothing good can come from thirty-three. And your Jesus year? her mother would say. It’s trying to kill you.

Athena grips the steering wheel tight, closing her eyes for a moment, exhaling, before jolting back into awareness as she swerves slightly into the other lane.

Not today, Jesus year.

A gulp of coffee. A turned-up stereo. Athena slaps her cheek and drives on. In the rearview mirror, the horizon blares bright and blue with the high noon sun doing its best to heat up the unseasonably chilly November day. If the cold stays at bay, it’s going to be a beautiful weekend for a wedding.

After half an hour of nothing but pine trees and billboards, Athena finally exits the highway, passes the Publix, and finds herself in the strange, beautiful, pristine, idyllic world of Watercolor, Florida.

Athena and her brother used to join Daisy’s family on their weeklong trips to the resort during the summers in middle school and high school. It hasn’t changed much since then. It’s expanded, but otherwise remains timeless. People cruise down the paved roads in their three-row golf carts or beach cruiser bikes with baskets on the front, going from their homes, to the Publix down the road and to the beach club across the highway. The sidewalks are manicured and lined with pine trees and magnolias, the needles and leaves of which are finely collected on the sides of the paved walkways, never a twig out of place, giving the residents and guests a taste of nature without all the messiness it brings.

Back then, Athena loved the sun-soaked days at the beach, salt water settling into her hair, making it coarse and curly and wild. They spent summer nights riding up and down the streets on their bikes, going on ice cream and soda runs until their stomachs got sick. Life was simple then. Athena had been happiest here, after days spent diving into the crashing waves, riding their force toward the shore, her belly scraping the shallow sand once the wave died out and deposited her back where she belonged.

It’s November now. Too cold for waves, and she’s too old to ride them, anyway. Her back might tweak or her knee might shift in the tide at the wrong enough angle, leaving her sore for weeks. The world had seemed so open when she was young. She realized now the scope was much smaller. Caution cursed her every step because she had known consequences and understood they could come when you least expected it.

Athena’s father used to say that age gave you double vision. You see the world both as it is and as it was before. It’s like your friend says, he’d say, always referring to Emily Dickinson in this way, “the past is such a curious creature!”

She wonders what her father would think now. About Daisy’s wedding, about her own divorce. He’s been dead three years, and still, every day, she wonders what he’d say. Three years of questions. Three years without answers.

Athena blinks away the thought as she turns off the 30A highway into the massive, sprawling beach resort, circling past the bustling beach club before finally finding the towering town house where Daisy and the other bridesmaids will spend the night after the rehearsal dinner and then spend tomorrow getting ready for the wedding. It’s blindingly white, exactly like the row of townhomes it stands beside, with two decks that overlook the white sand beach and emerald coast of the Gulf of Mexico. Behind it, the midafternoon waves swell and crash onto the coast, the sun starting to sparkle in the water. All nature, no artifice.

Once she cuts the engine, Athena slowly gets out of the car, relishing her last moments of silence before the chaos of the wedding begins. The air is thick with humidity. She savors the smell of salt air and pine needles, happy to have the sun on her cheeks. She’s spent so many hours inside her office and classroom these past eight months. She hadn’t realized how much she missed the world—the natural, reviving tonic of fresh air and warmth.

“There she is,” a voice calls from the front door. “The divorcée.”

Deacon steps out from the house, an enormous grin stretched across his face. Tall, lean, and shirtless as always, he leans against the doorframe, two cups of coffee in his hands, his board shorts sagging slightly. He sets the coffees down and tugs up his shorts before walking over to Athena, his arms outstretched. His blond hair sticks up straight at the back, like he’s just woken up from a nap, and he traces the now faint and faded scars underneath his pecs, a habit he’d kept up for over a decade since he got them. Athena embraces her best friend, burying her face in his chest, the tufts of blond chest hair tickling her cheek.

“So,” Deacon says, pulling her away from him so that he can look at her. “How is the divorcée?”

“I told you that’s not funny yet.” Athena smiles despite herself.

“I guess I’ll keep doing it until it is,” Deacon says as he takes her arm in his. “Come on. I’ll show you to your designated chambers.”

They walk through the house, steering clear of the rest of the bridesmaids for the time being, and make their way to Athena’s room, which has one tiny twin bed.

“Doesn’t seem like Daisy has any faith that you’ll be hooking up at this wedding,” Deacon says, gesturing to the bed.

“What else is new.” Athena sets her bag down at the foot of the bed before taking the hot cup of coffee from Deacon. It’s strong, with a hint of vanilla and cinnamon. “What are the other dudes doing?”

“Getting ready for the rehearsal dinner.” Deacon checks his watch. “Still got a few hours, but Chad wants to experiment with gel in his hair. Doesn’t want to take a chance in case it’s terrible—which it will be—and he has to start over.”

“At least he’s thinking ahead,” Athena says. She pulls out her suit for the dinner and tugs at her messy bun. “Wish I could just gel this mess. My hair is driving me bonkers.”

“Shave it off,” Deacon says, digging through Athena’s bag. He removes a pair of her white sneakers and tries them on. “Can I borrow these tonight?”

“I can’t shave it, I have an egg-shaped head, we’ve discussed this,” Athena says. “And no, I’m wearing them.”

“More like a bowling pin.”

“Any cone-shaped object will do.” Athena points at the bridesmaid dress she will wear tomorrow. The lavender silk will hug every curve and constrict her breathing so badly she worries it will induce a semi—panic attack. “Wish Daisy would have let us choose our dresses.”

“She’s an influencer, Athena,” Deacon says, running the fabric of the dress through his hands. “The only thing that matters are the pictures, tagging her designer sponsor and making sure that everyone seems the same, and by same, I of course mean not quite as good as Daisy.”

“So I’m getting punished because she has half a million followers she needs to impress?”

“Dude, you’re going to look good, a real heartbreaker.” Deacon walks around in Athena’s sneakers, checking them in the mirror. “I’ll catcall you when you walk down the aisle if that makes you feel better.”

“Exactly what I need at all times, a mobile fan club, thank you very much for understanding.” Athena points at the sneakers and gestures toward her suit, trying to get him to take them off. “What about you? You getting ready with us tomorrow?”

“Bride’s orders.” Deacon nods as he takes off the shoes and puts them under Athena’s suit. “She wants me by her side every step of the way. Until the actual wedding. A guy standing with the bridesmaids would ruin the aesthetic. At this wedding, gender is very much a binary.”

“Why push boundaries when you could just reinforce them, right?” Athena says.

“Well, she’ll have plenty of pictures to post for all the trans awareness, appreciation, whatever-the-fuck hashtag weeks they come up with.”

“Gotta feed the followers.”

“Name of the game.” Deacon rubs his forearm slowly, tracing the tips of his fingers over his bluebonnet tattoo. “Talked to Sydnee recently? We’ll see her tomorrow. At the wedding.”

A jolt rushes through Athena. It happens every time she hears her name. When they first started dating, she’d get a similar flood of electricity. It is still a marvel: the dread, excitement, giddy joy contained in one name. The thought of her face is instinctual. The dark hair, curly when left untouched, hanging just above her shoulders. Her easy smile, her eyes, green unless in sunlight, when they transformed into an almost translucent blue. Her hands were always in motion, when she talked and when she was silent, where they’d move from the back of her neck to the front of it, fiddling with the crucifix necklace she wore every day, a reminder of her family and the Catholicism of her youth. She called it a bad habit, but Athena had always known that the comfort of home could take many forms.

“We’ve talked a bit,” Athena says, trying to play it cool. “You know lesbians and their exes. Always staying best friends.”

“Don’t bullshit a bullshitter.” Deacon opens his mouth to say more, but hesitates, tugging on the thin wisps of hair at the end of his chin instead. “I gotta shave or Daisy will kill me.”

“What is it?” A flush of panic heats through her. She’d dreaded this possibility so much it almost felt prescient, like she could sense Sydnee’s shifting heart, moving on from her to someone else without having seen her since she asked for the divorce. “She’s dating. Her. Isn’t she?”

“I thought you weren’t on social media anymore.”

“I knew it,” Athena says, kicking herself for talking through lawyers instead of staying in the loop. There is no dignity in silence. Knowing is always better than being blindsided. “I knew it was more than just sex.”

“I don’t think it’ll last…” Deacon trails off. He bites his lower lip. “It’s hard.”

“Staying faithful shouldn’t be hard.”

“I mean for me.” He clears his throat, his voice dropping in the hollow sort of way that means he’s telling the truth. “Y’all are both my friends…”

“Let’s just not talk about it,” Athena says quickly, going back to her suitcase and unpacking her pajamas. She gets up and puts them in the mahogany chest in the corner, her back to Deacon.

Athena is not willing to listen to other people talk about how her divorce has affected them. It is her pain, her isolation. She doesn’t want to be miserable, but she’s settled into her misery in such a way that it’s now become a part of her. Every step she takes is steeped in the stuff. No one can top her in terms of agony. Her father is dead. Her wife left her. There is nothing else that matters.

Deacon clears his throat. She senses his frustration, but does nothing to ease it. It’s not his fault that her marriage ended. Outside of her mom and brother, Deacon is the only person she’s willingly let into her life during this period of upheaval. He’s shown up for her. During their weekly meetups at their favorite pub, he chomps on fries as she regales him with all the reasons she should have seen the divorce coming. He never complains. He rarely talks about himself. He sits, and he listens, and Athena does nothing to change that. She does wonder, sometimes, when she’s alone and she can’t sleep, why he doesn’t stop her, why he always sits and takes it, all her anger, and all her frustration, and all of her grief. It’s a purgatory with an open exit that he never seems to take.

“Put down the coffee,” Deacon says before Athena can reflect further. “And get your tennis shoes.”

“What?” She puts her suitcase under the bed and clutches her coffee closer, not ready to leave so shortly after her arrival.

“We’re going for a run.”

“The rehearsal dinner’s in a few hours.”

“Just a quick one.” He fishes through Athena’s bag to find her running shoes and throws them at her. “Come on. Lace up. We need it.”

Excerpted from Today Tonight Forever by Madeline Kay Sneed. Copyright © 2023 by Madeline Kay Sneed. Published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

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