Anna has two rules for the annual Pace family destination vacations: Tread lightly and survive.
PLOT SUMMARY:
It isn’t easy when she’s the only one in the family who doesn’t quite fit in. Her twin brother, Benny, goes with the flow so much he’s practically dissolved, and her older sister, Nicole, is so used to everyone―including her blandly docile husband and two kids―falling in line that Anna often ends up in trouble for simply asking a question. Mom seizes every opportunity to question her life choices, and Dad, when not reminding everyone who paid for this vacation, just wants some peace and quiet.
The gorgeous, remote villa in tiny Monteperso seems like a perfect place to endure so much family togetherness, until things start going off the rails―the strange noises at night, the unsettling warnings from the local villagers, and the dark, violent past of the villa itself.
GRADE: C-
REVIEW:
This book had a thrilling premise, a haunted villa in Tuscany and being trapped with family members who dislike you. That already sounded like a horror story ready to happen. I didn’t mind the first 20% of this book, but being Italian, there were many inaccuracies that I couldn’t overlook. I didn’t mind when Anna, the American protagonist spoke Italian like Google Translate, however, when the author had a two hundred year Florentine ghost speak Italian in the same way, I simply couldn’t stay focused on the story. Not to mention that the author doesn’t realize that Italy is culturally vastly different between the northern and southern regions. What this means is that there’s no way someone in Florence is using cornicelli amulets to ward off the evil eye when that is a very Southern Italian superstition that you won’t see past Rome. Not to mention that I disliked most of the characters in this book, including the protagonist (what annoyed me about her is that she returns to New York with the ghost following her home and she doesn’t act scared shitless as any normal person would be, but rather is cracking jokes at it). I really couldn’t enjoy this book for all of those reasons, and maybe if you’re not Italian, you won’t pick up all the inaccuracies that I did and might like this better, but for me, this was a complete pass. The author can write, but clearly, she or Tor Nightfire were sleeping at the wheel when it came to backing up her research.
*Thank you so much to NetGalley and Tor Nightfire for the digital copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
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Embarking on a home-based writing business is a journey of transformation, blending passion with practicality. It represents a shift from traditional office settings, offering autonomy and the chance to craft a personalized work environment. This venture, however, is not without its challenges. This article, presented by The Inkblotters, provides a structured guide to help you navigate the complexities of establishing a successful home-based writing business.
Crafting a Comprehensive Business Plan
A business plan acts as a navigational chart for your enterprise. It’s essential to articulate your mission, identify your target market, and highlight what sets your writing services apart. This document is not just a formality; it’s a strategic tool that guides decision-making and can be pivotal in securing financial support from lenders or investors.
Embracing Efficient Digital Tools
In today’s fast-paced digital landscape, managing an influx of documents effectively is crucial, especially when multiple teams or individuals are involved in a project. A common challenge is handling a variety of documents in different formats. Here, the utility of a PDF merging tool becomes apparent. It allows for you to combine PDF files into a single document, streamlining the process of keeping track of important information. This consolidation not only simplifies document management but also enables easy reordering of pages to organize content efficiently. By adopting such efficient digital practices, you can significantly reduce the time spent searching for documents, thereby focusing more on the creative aspects of your writing projects.
Strategizing Marketing Efforts
Developing an effective marketing strategy is critical in capturing your audience’s attention. Determine the most effective channels to showcase your writing services, be it through engaging social media content, email newsletters, or a captivating blog. A well-planned marketing approach is instrumental in building your brand and attracting clients.
Establishing a Strong Online Presence
In today’s market, a professional and accessible online presence is non-negotiable. A well-designed website that highlights your writing portfolio and services is crucial. It should be optimized for both desktop and mobile devices, ensuring a seamless user experience for potential clients browsing your offerings.
Selecting the Right Suppliers and Resources
For a writing business, identifying and collaborating with the right suppliers is pivotal. This involves sourcing high-quality software and materials that not only enhance your productivity but also elevate the quality of your output. Establishing relationships with reliable providers ensures that you consistently have access to the tools necessary for producing exceptional work. Additionally, these partnerships can offer valuable support and updates, ensuring that your business stays ahead with the latest technological advancements and industry trends.
Networking and Building Connections
Cultivating a network is invaluable in the realm of home-based writing businesses. Engaging with fellow writers, joining professional groups, and participating in industry events not only opens doors to collaborative opportunities and mentorship but alsoenriches your understanding of the evolving writing landscape. Additionally, these connections can provide a support system, offering guidance and feedback that can be instrumental in navigating the challenges and celebrating the successes of your writing journey.
Designing an Optimal Workspace
Setting up a designated workspace at home is crucial for maintaining focus and productivity. This space should be conducive to creativity and free from distractions, effectively blending comfort with professionalism. Moreover, personalizing this space with elements that inspire and motivate you can significantly enhance your creative process, making it a sanctuary where your best writing unfolds.
Embarking on a home-based writing business is a transformative experience, melding personal ambition with the nuances of a dynamic market. It marks a significant shift from conventional work environments, offering an unparalleled level of autonomy and the opportunity to shape your unique professional domain. The journey, while filled with challenges, is rich with opportunities for growth and innovation. As you navigate this path, remember that the key to success lies in your ability to adapt, evolve, and persistently pursue excellence in your craft. This venture is not just a business undertaking; it’s a testament to the power of blending creativity with entrepreneurial spirit.
Have a question or comment about the content available at The Inkblotters? Reach out today via the contact form.
Guest blog post by Stephanie Haywood, read her previous guest blog post HERE and HERE or visit her website: MY LIFE BOOST.
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It’s no secret that I absolutely love Benefit Cosmetics Mascaras, and the minis set is perfect because travel size is always the ideal size to slip into bags or keep at the office for a quick pick me up! Plus you get 3 types of mascaras for $28 and that in itself is a huge bargain!
GRACE & STELLA UNDER EYE MASK
I’m a big fan of eye masks because if there’s something your eyes need it’s hydration! The skin area is very thin and fragile so it’s always smart to keep this area well hydrated and moisturized. Not to mention that it also helps reduce puffiness! Currently $21.95 for a pack of 24 masks on Amazon.
TOO FACED LET IT SNOW GLOBES 3PC. PALETTE GIFT SET
This set includes three fun colorful palettes:
Taste of Christmas (smells like pecan pie!)
Peacock (smells like gum drops!)
Holiday Angel (smells like holiday treats!)
Each palette comes with a combination of eyeshadows that are both matte or shimmer, neutrals and some gemstone shades, and each palette comes with a blush. $27 for three palettes is an absolute steal (currently on sale at the Too Faced site, as regular price is $54).
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On Asher Lane, some secrets are worth killing for……
CHAPTER 1
A fat, heavy tear trickles down my cheek when I yank the final hair from my left areola, and it’s not even twelve seconds after I exchange my tweezer for the disposable razor I grifted from Reggie’s top drawer that blood is gushing down the inside of my thigh. I pause at the shocking appearance of crimson and immediately wonder if this laceration is punishment for being impatient or an indictment of my anti-feminism. Part of me thinks hustling to shave the stray hairs that still stubbornly sprout along my bikini line, despite the six agonizing laser removal sessions I’ve suffered through, is a reflection of how deeply I’ve internalized the particular brand of misogyny that says any hair below the brows on a woman is gross and revolting, and the fact that I’m doing this for a man, not myself, is in itself gross and revolting. I’ve also already chugged sixteen ounces of pineapple juice this morning, for obvious reasons.
The other part of me thinks it’s complete bullshit, that being hyper hygienic and having a general disdain for visible body hair is simply considerate, because feminism and a preference for hairlessness shouldn’t be mutually exclusive. I don’t actually think Reggie has ever noticed the hairs on my tits, or even the splattering on my toes that I compulsively remove once a week,
so in a way maybe I am actually plucking the hair from my nipples for my own aesthetic appreciation, not because of the patriarchy, and my feminism is not actually in jeopardy at all.
My dad used to get on me all the time for fixating on tiny, inconsequential details, a habit I no doubt inherited from my mom. But I really am torn about whether I should be judging myself or just owning the part of my personality that is unapologetically vain as I glance at my phone again to see if Reggie has gotten back to my three where r u and did u leave yet and you’re still coming, right? texts, which is what I was doing when I slashed myself in the first place.
There is no reply.
No ellipsis to show he’s typing.
I sigh because I can’t remember the last time my thigh has felt even a trickle. Granted, the deep red liquid heading toward the marble tile is vastly less pleasant than the warm ropes that Reggie sometimes sends down my adductor, or wherever I request, but it’s warm and sticky just like it, and in the most bizarre way, watching it drizzle down my skin turns me on a little. After checking my phone again to no avail, I bandage the nick on my leg and toss the razor, assuming Reggie is already packed in a subway car like a sardine. He is not ghosting me. He is not cheating on me. He just doesn’t have reception and can’t write back yet.
Another thing my dad is constantly grumbling about, usually while he scans the days’ headlines in the Star-Ledger I bring him every Sunday, is how highly intelligent people can convince themselves of really dumb shit. So there’s that.
I look myself over, naked except for the fresh bandage and the glint of gold around my neck, and wish I could see myself the way Reggie sees me. I notice the flaws first. The blemishes. The discoloration. The faded scars I still have from childhood. He notices everything he likes and never has time to consider that I could even potentially see a single flaw in my own body because his hands and mouth are always busy pawing and sucking before he has the chance. Well, that’s how it used to be. Before Goldstein & Wagner claimed his soul. Now I think his perpetual delirium from the lack of sleep gives him a soft-focus gaze and that’s why he thinks I’m so hot.
Most of my dresses are of the silky, shapeless variety, but the one I pick for tonight is also obscenely short, more reminiscent of a chemise than a dinner garment, something I would never wear out alone. But whatever I wear has to pull its weight tonight. My period is two days away and Reggie squirms even at the idea of a speck of blood. I’m virtually celibate five days every month because even bloody hand jobs freak him out, but he does run to Duane Reade without complaint whenever I’m almost out of tampons and always grabs the right box depending on my flow, so it balances out. He’s put in at least ten hours at the firm today, but I’m totally down for doing all the work to get us both off, so yes, this is the dress, and I’m going to make sure he orders something light with plenty of green on his plate so he doesn’t get the itis on the ride back to my place.
Still, as much as I am craving tongue and hands and a long, indulgent dicking down to sustain me while my ovaries wreak havoc, I would happily handle it myself once he’s asleep and take a couple hours of slow, deep conversation instead. A little shit talking, but mostly watching him eat, and laughing the way we used to back when we first met, when he was finishing the last leg of law school and had a fraction of the responsibilities he does now. I try not to romanticize the days when we were fresh and new, because it was fresh and new and so of course it was fucking romantic, but I’m human and can only look back on the inception of our relationship through a halcyon lens.
My apartment is a microscopic studio in a freshly gentrified Bed-Stuy, all I can afford on my own with my salary, which, five hundred miles toward the center of the continent, could get me a mortgage on a cute starter home. It can feel claustrophobic with more than two people inside it at once, but when it’s just me here, it’s perfect. The galley kitchen is at the front and my bed is made semiprivate by the two white open-shelf bookcases I have packed with too many books, some vintage with gorgeous, battered spines, most pre-loved before I got my hands on them. Reggie thinks I have a problem since I’ve lost count of how many I have and because I have dozens more books littered around the four-hundred-square-foot place. He had the nerve to toss around the h word once. I deadfished him that night, and he never used it again. Though if I’m being objective, there is barely a flat space that isn’t occupied by at least one paperback, but that’s only because I am an actual slut for an aesthetic floppy copy of almost anything. Reggie doesn’t get it. He thinks hardbacks are supreme, and I think it’s tied to the fragility of his masculinity somehow, especially since he’s barely a recreational reader, which makes his opinion hardly justified. Then again, I’m a fiend for his dick when it’s floppy too, so maybe I’m the one with a complex.
I run through my standard series of poses using my floor-length mirror to check how far I can lean over without flashing my nipples or my ass, and frown at my visible panty line. They’re seamless, allegedly, but I can see the faint indent where they grip my skin beneath the delicate fabric of my dress. I step out of them and shuffle through my top drawer for a much less conspicuous thong, but then shut it empty-handed and decide that it’s fine, Reggie has had a long week and it’s only Tuesday. I’m sure he’ll appreciate the surprise.
I’m ten pages away from knocking another contrived, predictable thriller written by a man that swears the narrative is feminist but comes off glaringly misogynistic off my TBR by the time I hear the jingle of Reggie’s keys outside the door to my unit. I toss the book aside without dog-earing my current page, though I feel an instant pang of regret and swing my legs off the arm of my couch as I reach for my phone to see what time it is. It’s been two hours since I gashed my leg. I wait for the door to fly open and brace myself to be seen, for his jaw to drop when he sees me.
But nothing happens.
Reggie doesn’t push in. I don’t hear that jingle anymore.
Before I fully convince myself that I’m suffering from hallucinations courtesy of my surge of pre-menstruation hormones, I straighten out my dress and cross the space to glance through the peephole and be sure. Reggie is on the other side, head bent over, his thumbs beating away at his phone’s screen, whatever email he’s writing taking precedence over our date. Envy erupts like a geyser inside me.
It’s hard to stay pissed at him once I swing the door open and look him over without the distorting view of the peephole. His shirtsleeves are rolled up to his elbows, revealing his forearms that are corded with thick veins, the left one covered in a massive tribal tattoo I still don’t know the meaning of. So slutty of him. His tie is loosened around his neck, but not all the way undone, and I can still smell the remnants of whatever soap he showered with this morning.
“Hey.” He hasn’t looked up yet. “Sorry I didn’t hit you back. I was swamped.”
I don’t reply, will not dignify anything he says with a response until he properly acknowledges me and all the work I put in to look edible for him tonight. He finally hits send and lifts his chin, a guilty smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. I don’t know why, with all this pent-up anticipation, his double take at my dress still makes me blush, and I sort of resent that part of me. Though, at the same time, it feels good to be taken in like this.
“Thought you said seven thirty,” I say, fighting to not sound too accusatory, but it’s not much of a battle since the way he’s checking me out is softening me right up like a stick of butter in a microwave.
His eyes are moving quickly, like they are being pulled downward by some invisible force. “This new?”
He reaches for my amorphous dress, his touch rough enough for me to worry about the preservation of its barely-there straps.
“Figured you’d like it,” I say.
I would have much preferred an immediate and sincere apology for keeping me waiting, but I relinquish my simmering irritation and let him feel me up as I lean in to give him a kiss. He settles a hand on the small of my back, definitely wanting me closer, wanting more, but I pull away before he gets too distracted by the dessert and no longer has an appetite for the meal.
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Can she rewrite the fate of women who came before her?
Prologue
Last night I dreamt I went to Malibu again.
I stood barefoot on the sand, the cool water nipping at my ankles. And there, high above me, perched on the edge of that magnificent cliff, his stunning house sat as it once had, alive, whole. It had ten bedrooms and was on three private cliffside acres, with a lap pool, a tennis court, and a garden blooming flush with pink and white bougainvillea. But from the beach down below all I could see was its long wall of privacy-tinted glass windows, slanting out toward the sea.
He could see me here, out on the beach. I was certain he could, even in my dream.
He was still behind those windows, watching my every step. Though I couldn’t see him. The glass was one-way. But I imagined him there behind the glass so vividly, it had to be real.
Until it wasn’t. Until the heat from the flames would shatter all the windows, break them apart, send smoke spewing from the piano room, down the cliff, evaporating in wisps into the lonely Pacific.
But in my dream, the flames hadn’t existed yet. Or, maybe they never would. He and his house were there, watching me. Wanting me. Haunting me.
“Come back!” His voice was a desperate echo, my undoing. The smoke was so thick, even out on the beach I couldn’t see, and I couldn’t breathe.
So that’s why I did it, in my dream. I turned away from the house, and I walked into the bone-chilling water. It was so cold, it numbed me, but I walked into the sea, up to my shoulders, my neck, my chin. Until I could no longer smell the smoke or hear his voice.
And then my entire head was underwater, and the tide was strong. It sucked me in, held me there.
But I wasn’t trying to drown. I really wasn’t. I was merely trying to escape the fire.
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Ana and Reid need a break. The horrifically complicated birth of their first child has left Ana paralyzed, bitter, and struggling―with mobility, with her relationship with Reid, with resentment for her baby. Reid dismisses disturbing events and Ana’s deep unease and paranoia, but he can’t explain the needle-like bite marks on their baby.
GRADE: B+
REVIEW:
Right off the bat, you get Rosemary’s Baby vibes from the very first chapter – but if you have read Riley Sager’s Lock Every Door, then you’ll also feel like the gargoyles are vaguely familiar (although here they have a bigger role).
Ana and Reid with their baby Charlie, win some kind of apartment lottery and happen to get one at one of the most luxurious buildings in Manhattan – however there’s a catch 22, as the building is rumored to have brought upon much bad luck to the tenants that live there. The building is wrapped in mystery as not many books are written about it, safe for one that Reid finds in a used book store that he quickly becomes obsessed with.
The novel is gripping, chilling, and with a very unexpected ending (although I do love that Cassidy went down the route he did). Nestlings captures you with a claustrophobic clutch and doesn’t let go until you reach the very end. My only tiny gripe with the novel is that between the major reveal and the end, it kinda began to move slower, but I kept on reading because I wanted to know how it would end for these characters.
This a must-read if you love creepy horror, verging on the terrifying. The images are really dark, and at times downright sickening – which I loved, so if you’re into that sort of horror you will love this too.
*Thank you so much to NetGalley and Tor Nightfire for the digital copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
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If spending time with your family begins to feel like a drag, then suggest a movie to watch and have everyone settle down to a terrifying horror movie that takes place during Thanksgiving cause sometimes the holidays are just downright scary!
KRISTY (2014)
Violent thugs terrorize a young woman (Haley Bennett) who’s alone on a college campus for Thanksgiving weekend. Ashley Greene plays a chilling pierced villain. Think “Home Alone” but with a lot more violence and gore.
PILGRIM (2019)
A woman invites Pilgrim reenactors to her family’s Thanksgiving celebration in an effort to remind them of their privilege and help them bond with one another.
THANKSGIVING (2023)
For many years this was only a fake trailer shown in Quentin Tarantino’s and Robert Rodriguez’s 2007 double feature, Grindhouse. Finally, sixteen years later we get an actual movie by Eli Roth inspired by that trailer. An axe-wielding maniac terrorizes residents of Plymouth, Mass., after a Black Friday riot ends in tragedy. Picking off victims one by one, the seemingly random revenge killings soon become part of a larger, sinister plan.
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As a professional writer, you need a virtual presence. Whether you’re a freelance writer and editor who needs to promote your services, or a fiction author who wants readers to be able to easily find your books online, your business website serves important purposes. If you need inspiration for website content, you can browse The Inkblotters! Plus, here’s how to optimize your business website, from providing referral incentives to fixing up any broken links.
Offer Customer Referral Incentives
Providing referral incentives through your website can be a powerful way to drive new business. You can put up a call-to-action or pop-up window to alert visitors to these referral incentives. For instance, if a customer refers a specific number of people to your business, you could give them a gift card in exchange for their support.
By using this digital gift card API, you’ll be able to automate the process of sending money, prepaid cards, or gift cards to referring customers. You can also use a tool like this to submit
charitable donations in your customers’ names. Additionally, this tool will allow you to customize payments in alignment with your personal branding scheme and messaging.
Fix Broken Links
Clicking on broken links can be very frustrating for potential customers who visit your website! In the long run, having lots of broken links on your site can result in lost business. However, you might not know how to code or fix broken web pages. If you need pointers, you can find plenty of coding-related resources online to follow along with.
Improve Your SEO Strategy
If your customers can’t find your website, how can they patronize you? To improve your search engine optimization strategy, Search Engine Journal recommends checking each page’s loading speed, deleting any duplicate content, and adding target keywords to title tags, subheadings, image tags, video captions, meta descriptions, body content, and internal links.
Create Engaging Blog Content
Yes, you already spend a lot of your time writing – but it doesn’t hurt to add a new blog post to your own site on a weekly basis. Blogging for your business is a form of content marketing that allows you to cover relevant topics for your readers while creating more content that will show up in search results. You can repurpose quotes from these blog posts to share on social media to get more mileage out of your content.
Publish Clear Pricing
If you provide any sort of freelance writing, editing, or proofreading services, it’s a smart idea to add your rates to your website. Ashley Gainer states that doing so will help you attract clients whose budgets are aligned with your prices, so you’ll spend less time filtering out clients who can’t afford your services.
Keep Your Portfolio Current
Maybe you already have a portfolio section on your website, but it’s been a while since you added any of your most recent work. Take the time to update your portfolio every couple of months to show potential clients that you’re actively working in your niche and developing your skills.
If you’re a prolific writer, it can be hard to decide what to add! Think about what would be most relevant to your clients. For instance, if you write for technology companies, adding human interest pieces to your portfolio may not be necessary.
No matter your writing niche, your website functions as your primary digital destination for your readers or clients. Ensuring that your website is informative and easy to navigate is key. With these tips, you’ll be ready to update broken links, enhance your approach to SEO, offer referral incentives for visitors, and more!
Want to pick up more lifestyle tips for writers? Turn to The Inkblotters! Browse our blog today for book reviews, writing advice, and more.
Guest blog post by Stephanie Haywood, read her previous guest blog post HERE and HERE or visit her website: MY LIFE BOOST.
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More specifically, she’d had one (or three) too many the night before. So instead of falling asleep on her bed, she was lying on the couch with a paperback book as a makeshift pillow. Her legs were tucked up in the fetal position inside her billowy dress. And as she licked her lips, she tasted vodka and fried chicken, which she didn’t remember drinking or eating.
She attempted to open her eyes, but her lashes stuck together from the makeup she’d forgotten to remove the night before. With the help of her index finger and thumb, she managed to peel one lid open. White-hot summer light poured in through the arched living-room window and her mint green walls, a color she’d specifically chosen for its soothing properties, were mockingly chipper.
But even more unsettling was the book on the coffee table directly in front of her, Whisked Away. Sophie’s first published book. She closed her one good eye and wished she’d never opened it.
Her mom had always dreamed about Sophie filling an entire bookshelf with all her titles, the years of working multiple day jobs while tinkering on romance books finally worth the struggle. But, as it turned out, Whisked Away would be Sophie’s one and only book. Had she known she’d be a one-hit wonder, she wouldn’t have ordered the little placard for her writing desk: Ask Me about My Tropes.
The worst part was that she had sold a follow-up book—or, at least, a pitch plus the first three chapters—but she hadn’t been able to finish The Love Drought (a title so tragically similar to her own personal problems that it made her cringe). She’d been given multiple extensions but missed all of them. And, per her contract, her publisher had the right to terminate their deal if those deadlines weren’t met. But no matter how many drafts she started, Sophie couldn’t find her way to the happily ever after that all romance books promised and that she loved.
The phone call with her agent started with We need to talk… and ended with You have six weeks to finish this book or your contract, plus the advance, will be taken back.
She’d spent most of that advance, though, along with the royalty checks that grew smaller and smaller as interest in her last book waned. She needed money from turning in the next book if she wanted to continue paying for things like food or a place to stay.
She should’ve seen the implosion coming. Her horoscope had warned that the entire month of June would be bad for important communication. But the damage was done: Sophie was a romance author with writer’s block, and in six weeks’ time, she’d lose her publishing deal.
So she’d done the only thing she knew would make her feel better: called Poppy. And her best friend had suggested a night out at their favorite downtown karaoke bar to drown away the loud whir of failure.
She cautiously sat up, then settled her feet into the woven jute rug. Her legs were as firm as Jell-O when she stood. Still, she managed to make it to the hallway mirror, where she saw that her normally side-swept curtain bangs had morphed into Medusa, snakelike tendrils across her forehead, and she had more flakes on her face than her pet goldfish had in his bowl.
She cringed. Rain Boots. Her goldfish was twelve years old and the longest relationship she’d ever had. She planted her hand on the wall for support and shuffled over to her bedroom where a large glass fishbowl sat on her bedside table. Rain Boots swam in the exact middle and blinked at Sophie with large accusatory eyes.
“I’m sorry, honey,” Sophie croaked out. “I know we have our bedtime routine, but Mommy got horribly drunk.”
She tapped the glass with her index finger and waited for a response, but none came. Eventually the silence broke when her doorbell loudly ding-donged and caused her to jump in surprise. The next, and bigger, surprise came when she made her way to the front door and saw her landlord waiting on the porch.
Dash Montrose wasn’t a tall man, but he had presence. Part of that was because he always seemed to be fidgeting—tapping his fingers, shifting his feet, or pacing slightly—but also, he had thick arms with swirling, inky-black tattoos.
It’s not that Sophie had stared at those arms in prior instances but…well, yeah, she probably had.
Still, her first instinct was to hide behind the couch because what the hell was Dash doing there? She and Dash lived next door to each other, but they were not close. In fact, Dash hardly ever acknowledged her existence. He lived in the large house tucked behind her bungalow, but he was always walking away in some kind of a hurry. If she waved, he only ever nodded back. She didn’t think he was intentionally being a jerk, but he clearly had no interest in interacting with her. They hadn’t spoken actual words to each other in at least a few months. She Venmoed him the rent, and sometimes he left a thumbs-up in response. That was the extent of it.
But there he was, in jeans and a T-shirt. What could he want? Did he somehow know her funds were about to run out and he was preemptively evicting her? Sophie avoided confrontation at all costs, but she couldn’t run away from him, not when his face was pressed against the window of her door and he was peering directly at her. She clutched her arms across her chest, extremely aware that she was still dressed in her clothes from the night before, as she made her way to him.
When she opened the door, she was hit not only with the heat from the high sun above but by the sight of Dash’s wet hair slicked around his face. Water trickled down his neck and splotched his faded shirt, like he’d come straight over from a shower. Which meant a few minutes prior he’d been totally naked, covered in soap and water and…
“Hey, uh, whoa.” His voice cut through Sophie’s thoughts. When she glanced up, Dash gave her an uneasy expression, then gestured down the length of her. “What happened…”
She never left the house without a minimum of tinted moisturizer, but of course Dash came on the one day where she closely resembled a Madame Tussauds wax statue melting in the sun. Sophie gently swiped her index finger under her eye, and it came back coated in black liner. Excellent.
“Vodka happened,” she muttered.
She rubbed the liner between her fingers. Something was wrong. Mercury must’ve been in retrograde. If thirteen-year old Sophie had known that she would be renting a place from Dash Montrose—former teen heartthrob movie star turned still hunky landlord—and he was seeing her hungover…she’d be even more embarrassed than she already was. And she’d probably also be delighted. Because Sophie had maaaybe had a photo of him from a magazine cover on her wall when she was growing up. His film Happy Now? was her all-time favorite movie.
She absolutely did not have a crush on adult Dash, though. Well, he was undeniably hot. No point in glossing over that thick, dirty-blond hair, the dimple in his chin, or any of the other tatted-up details. But he was Poppy’s brother and so off-limits that Sophie had built a wall around Dash in her mind. Though bits of the wall appeared to crumble at the sight of his strong jaw and the dark circles under his eyes that made him all the more mysterious to her.
“Poppy asked me to come check on you. She said you weren’t answering your phone.” He glanced behind her, as if searching for a potential thief holding her cell hostage.
“My Poppy?” Sophie had worked at Poppy’s spa, Glow, for years—one of the many day jobs she’d had before quitting to write full-time. Though, now that she had endless writer’s block, she might have to beg for her old job back.
“She’s my sister, so she’s technically our Poppy.” His hands landed in the pockets of his jeans.
Sophie looked behind her to where the phone usually was, and blessedly, while she’d been drunk enough to use a book as a pillow, she’d been just sober enough to plug in her phone. She rubbed at one of her throbbing temples and walked over to her desk, grabbed her phone, then held down the power button and watched the white icon flash back.
As she waited for the phone to boot up, she walked back toward Dash.
“Okay, she wants me to tell you that there’s a video of you going viral?” Dash gestured to his phone, which made his forearm flex and Sophie’s eyes widen in response.
She tried to process what he’d said. She needed an intense boost of caffeine—maybe a matcha—to be able to comprehend the words coming out of his mouth. “A video?”
“I don’t know, she said you needed to see it. And that I needed to make sure you saw it.” He shrugged, but the small motion lifted the edge of his shirt up just enough for Sophie to catch a glimpse of his boxers.
Sophie didn’t want to be impolite—Dash was Poppy’s older brother, after all—but what was she supposed to do? She couldn’t so much as look at a candle shop without rushing in to buy one. Dash was the male equivalent of fresh beeswax. She was definitely staring.
Just then, her phone erupted in a series of pings, vibrations, and what sounded like one deafening goose honk. If she owned pearls, she’d be clutching the hell out of them. The screen filled with notifications—emails, texts, missed calls, and push notifications from Instagram—but she pulled up Poppy’s text conversation first.
Soph, are you up?
It’s 10. You never sleep this late.
I’m at work, ARE YOU OK
I’m sending Dash over.
YOU’RE NOT DEAD! YIPPEE!
OK, here’s the vid. Don’t freak out!
Dash’s phone pinged too, he looked down, then sighed. “Did you get it?” He sounded a little irritated.
Sophie frowned at the blurry thumbnail of a woman, but clicked the link, which sent her to the TikTok app. Then, almost immediately, she saw herself reflected on the screen. The video was taken at the karaoke bar, and Sophie was the main event. She stood onstage as the undeniable background music to Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer” played. She had requested that song, hadn’t she? The small pieces of her lost-memory puzzle began to click into place.
Only, in the video, she was sobbing, with tears running down her cheeks, as she gazed wild-eyed into the crowd. Poppy ran onto the stage and attempted to coax Sophie off, but Sophie grabbed the mic and shouted, “I’ve never been in love, okay?!” Her voice so angry and vehement that she appeared to be deranged. The person holding the phone zoomed in at that exact moment to capture Sophie’s grimace as she shrieked out, “Love isn’t real!” Then Poppy yanked the mic out of Sophie’s hand and dropped it for her. End of video.
“Stop, stop, stop!” The words screeched out of her as she furiously poked the screen to try and delete the video. Then she remembered this was not her video—someone else had uploaded it. Eventually, her eyes drifted down to the caption, which read Relatable! The video had over two hundred thousand views and thirty thousand likes.
“Oh my holy hot hell.” She was a writer but could not think of any other words in that moment. Her mind raced at the thought of hundreds of thousands of people watching her have a public meltdown and liking it.
Normally, Sophie was an optimist, but after the last twenty-four hours, she was beginning to understand the appeal of pessimism. Her hand instinctively went to her chest and her fingers tap-tap-tapped at her pacemaker—something she always did to steady herself—as she scrolled through the comments and saw that not one but multiple people had recognized her.
Sophie Lyon is FUN
Sophie Lyon is secretly unhinged and it’s sending me
I hated her book, but I like this?
“Just breathe.” Then Dash’s hand was on her back, steady and warm, which momentarily distracted her, but not for long.
The heat outside had intensified to Palm Springs–level boiling and caused Sophie to break out in either hives or a rash. She furiously clawed at her throat with her free hand. She walked away from Dash and down the porch steps. Her bare feet hit the cool blades of grass in her yard, and when she looked up, the iconic Hollywood sign perched in the Santa Monica Mountains shined pearly white in the distance. Seeing those letters from her yard every morning used to make her feel closer to the success she so deeply craved, but now she felt buried under the weight of its implied expectations.
She stumbled, and Dash was next to her within seconds, holding her steady. He grabbed her elbow with one hand, and the other wrapped around her waist to cup her hip. His skin was warm against her, even through her dress. Her stomach flipped, probably from the lingering alcohol. “Sophie, you really need to sit. You look like you’re about to faint—”
The sound of her phone pinging cut him off. And when she looked down, a familiar name flashed across the screen. Carla. Sophie stopped scratching her throat. Her ex. The woman who had single-handedly led her on for close to a year. A year in which Sophie could feel herself beginning to fall head over heels, and then… Carla had ended it and dragged their relationship to the trash. Sophie stared at Carla’s name, and the text underneath, which read Saw the video… As in her ex had seen the video of Sophie having a full-on meltdown.
It was at this moment that she tilted her head back, let the punishing sun burn her eyes, and shouted as loudly as she physically could. When she eventually stopped screaming, her head felt light. The edges of her vision blurred with the realization that she had nothing left, her life was over, and she was completely mortified.
“Seriously, Sophie? My ears are ringing.”
Sophie was so focused on her own humiliation that she must’ve forgotten that Dash was right there.
“Are you on something?” Dash asked.
Sophie frowned. No, she was not on something. She may have been braless, hungover, and hanging by a thread emotionally, but what kind of an accusation was that?
And even if she were on ayahuasca and beginning to see rainbow caticorns encircling her feet—which sounded great, actually—what she did with her body was absolutely none of his business. She paid her rent on time. This was her place. He was the one who’d come bounding over, all wet and wearing a too-tight shirt, and now he had the nerve to suggest she was the one out of line?
She would tell Dash that he needed to leave. But when she opened her mouth to say as much, she felt the bile rise in her throat. Her eyes bulged wide as she closed her mouth and held back something akin to a burp. Dash clocked her panic, and his eyes narrowed. She shook her head, but there was no use. She was definitely going to hurl all over her high-school celebrity crush. And without even being able to call out a warning, she projectile-vomited all over Dash.
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