Poetry: For You Always

I suppose I had hoped that my memory would’ve crippled you

Not to move on.

Instead, I see you smiling with your wife.

Your children remind me so much of you, with those

crooked smiles and messy curls.

I guess I just wished you had wanted those things with me,

Instead of her.

I break my phone’s screen so that I don’t have to witness your happiness

Without me.

By: Azzurra Nox

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Review: Burberry’s My Burberry Blush Fragrance

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Burberry is as much British as high tea and the Queen, just take a look at their signature tartan packaging. Based in London, before the brand was known for their fragrances, it was originally known for its iconic trench coat as far back as 1856! This new fragrance is a homage to the iconic coat and the women of that era, that were both feminine but progressive.

Size: 1.6-oz./50-ml.

Price: $90

Fragrance Family: Floral

Top Notes: Pomegranate and Lemon

Middle Notes: Geranium, Crisp Apple, and Rose Petal

Base Notes: Jasmine and Wisteria

Time of Day: Daytime/Early Evening

What’s It Smell Like: A romantic stroll in a London park.

Verdict: I have to admit I haven’t always been a fan of Burberry’s fragrances in the past, but ever since they’ve released Body and My Burberry a couple of years ago, I’ve totally been onboard with the new fragrances. This one is exceptionally feminine, but in no way is it safe. It’s a bit flirty without being too obnoxious, and simply smells divine. If you ever wanted to smell like a sweet British garden with a hint of posh (think Baby Spice meets Posh Spice), then this fragrance is right for you!

Where To Buy It: https://www.sephora.com

By: Azzurra Nox

Poetry: Late

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I’ve arrived too late.

You’ve used up all your love and

outrageous displays of affections on someone else.

So that when Valentine’s Day passes by,

There are no flowers or romantic adventures.

You tell me, “I’ve done this all before—I’m tired.”

But you’ve done nothing with me

For me.

I’m left picking up the crumbs,

cause I’ve come too late.

And someone else has already eaten my cake.

By: Azzurra Nox

Review: Sugar Pill Liquid Lip Color in Trinket

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What It Is: A long-lasting liquid lipstick

Perks: Cruelty-free and made in California

Verdict: I’ve tried out several liquid lipstick brands since they’ve gotten popular over the past year or so. I was looking forward to trying out Sugar Pill cause I’ve always been a fan of the brand, plus I’ve been trying to find the perfect rose gold shade with subtle glimmer. The colour I got, Trinket is simply gorgeous! The awesome thing about this specific liquid lipstick is that when applied, the colour is a rose shade, but once you press your lips together, the gold shimmer is activated. So, the more you smack your lips together, the more gold shimmer will be visible. It’s a very flattering metallic shade, and it can be worn both casually or for an evening night, especially now with the holidays, the gold glimmer will give you that much needed holiday vibe without going too overboard. As for the formula, it is lightweight, but long-lasting (and when I say long-lasting I truly mean it! I can apply this lipstick at 7a.m. and not need to reapply even once and it stays put till I remove it around 9p.m.). Another plus is that the formula doesn’t dry out your lips, your lips actually feel uber hydrated throughout the day (a much-needed bonus during the harsh winter temperatures!). So give this shade a try, and liberate your inner sugarplum fairy!

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Price: $18

Where To Buy It: I got mine at the Dolls Kill site (https://www.dollskill.com/) or https://sugarpill.com

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By: Azzurra Nox

My Bad Romance: The Southern Gentleman

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We met in July. I was there to see your bestfriend perform, but after the gig you asked me if I wanted to go out for ice cream. We soon found out that the only place that serves ice cream at midnight is a Denny’s Diner, so there we spent over two hours just talking about everything and anything. I loved listening to your voice. Your Texan accent was warm and inviting. We laughed like we had been friends forever.

It was perfect.

The first time you kissed me, you first stopped to kiss my nose. I smiled at the gesture. I thought that you were different. I thought that it felt nice to be in your presence. And my hand fit perfectly with your own, forever linked.

We were in Oklahoma hiding in the closet with a Tornado approaching our hotel room. My heart was racing, but you held me close and strummed your guitar, singing to me, “Riders on the Storm,” as the winds increased. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, I thought our building was going to lift up just like Dorothy’s home in The Wizard of Oz, and saw my fear and held my hand and whispered, “We’re going to be okay. Even if this could be our final moment, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

We were at a gas station in the desert when your bandmates were filling up the van’s tank and Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl,” came on the radio. You grabbed my hand, and singing the lyrics to me, pulled me out of the van. I laughed as we danced under the hot desert sun. Your crooked smile made me melt, and once again I thought that everything about that moment, about us, was perfect.

And for a while it truly was.

Until.

This is the part of the story where it takes a detour for the worst.

Until you grew weary of me wanting more. Needing more. And it crushed my heart when you handed me a ring for my birthday but punctuated, “It’s not the sort of ring you were hoping for, you know I’m not ready, yet.”

But that yet kept weighing on me. Was it really a yet, or were you just buying time? I began to believe that you didn’t care. I was certain that you were getting bored or maybe exhausted of me.

Then one February night, I saw my phone with all your texts and voicemails. You had spent most of the day trying to reach me because you were going to break up with me.

Something deep inside of me broke. And like Thom Yorke in “Karma Police,” for a minute there I did lose myself. I spent my nights driving around L.A. listening to songs on repeat as I tried to find a way to get back to you. I’d text you obsessively. Sometimes I was sweet, other times I was angry. I reached a point where I didn’t care whether the attention I was receiving from you was negative. I was starving for any tiny morsel. Your hate would’ve been better to me than your indifference. And all I could think about was how much I missed you. I started to hate you because I didn’t like this new person I had become. But at the same time, I didn’t know how to be different. I spent two years trying to forget the twenty months we spent together.

You hollowed me out. Sometimes, I feel as though if anyone peers closely into me they can see just how much I’m lacking. That they can see how all my cracks haven’t been placed correctly, that I’m not fixed. And maybe I never will be.

This is the new me. Not newly minted, but an amalgam of broken pieces haphazardly glued together, trying to pretend that I’m okay.

I’m okay.

I hope that wherever you are, you’re okay too.

By: Azzurra Nox

Review: Origins Clear Improvement

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Masks have always been my so-called beauty crack (meaning that I could never have too many stashed away!). Although face masks are all the rage lately, I still prefer clay masks overall (mostly because apparently I am extremely impatient and can’t seem to wait 10-15 minutes without doing nothing at all). At least with clay masks I can still do other beauty regimens (like painting my nails!). I’m all about multi-tasking. I may also love clay masks more because I have naturally oily skin, and always feel like this sort of mask truly combats in soaking up some of my natural oils without drying out my skin.

What It Is: Active charcoal mask to clear pores.

What It Does: Unclogs and clears pores.

Active Ingredient: China clay and Charcoal

Verdict: As I mentioned above, I simply love clay masks because they always leave my skin ultra-clean and refreshed. I’ve always been a fan of Origins products, so was very psyched to receive this product in my Sephora Play monthly subscription for November. This mask is simply A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! It will make your skin feel brighter and smoother in less than ten minutes! This mask is especially effective for those who like me have oily to combination skin, but it’s gentle enough for even sensitive or dry skins to use as well as this mask (unlike some other clay masks) doesn’t leave my skin ultra-dried out but rather it leaves it feeling supple, hydrated, but not oily. In other words, it’s the equivalent of drinking a tall glass of crisp cucumber-lime water. A more effective way of using this product is to first use a warm, wet towel pressed against your skin to help open up the pores and then to apply a thin layer of the mask all over your face, concentrating mostly on your T-zone. This mask is gentle enough to use twice a week or you can use it on trouble spots more times throughout the week.

Price: $27

Where To Buy It: https://www.origins.com

By: Azzurra Nox

My Bad Romance: The New Yorker

Thw Wonder Wheel, Coney Island, NYC 2002

It was a hot, Coney Island summer and we were headed towards the Wonder Wheel. Hands entwined as always, as I pulled off pieces of candy floss. The sugar melted in our mouths, sharing sticky kisses. We laughed feeling lucky for that moment. We had fallen in love in April, and although it was merely July (three months later) we felt like we had been together forever. We were inseparable. No one else mattered to us but each other. We lived on kisses and sugary sweets. We had no regard for day or night, we were always awake, always up to something.

“You know there’s an old gypsy tale that if you ride the Wonder Wheel with someone else, you’ll be together forever,” he said to me, his dark hair blowing into his eyes.

“Are you sure you wanna be stuck with me forever?” I joked.

But I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He was the one person I loved to talk to at any hour of the day, and even when we’d spend the day watching Asian horror movies and eating takeout I’d never get bored.

Like two enthusiastic kids, we got on the Wonder Wheel, feeling like we were on top of the world. Everyone below us was so tiny, and he kissed me at the top of the Ferris Wheel. I could’ve lived in the moment forever. I wanted to live in that moment forever. I wished the night would melt into my veins, and that I could swallow the stars.

“I love you,” he murmured. A phrase he’d tell me so often during the day, and no matter how many times he said it still managed to make me melt. I’d wake up with his uttering his love, and drifted to sleep with him declaring it one more time. I could feel his love embrace my whole being. My heart was full. It had never felt so full before.

And then one day catastrophe happened.

Because fate is unkind to lovers. Fate tore us apart, and ever since my heart has never felt full again. Like those people who can still feel their limbs after amputation, I too, feel this phantom love. Other times I’m just aching for the part of me that isn’t there because he had become so essential to my being.

I often think about that moment at the Wonder Wheel. A part of me hopes that the superstition is true. That fate can be bent and he’ll find his way back to me. Or that time can be rewound and I can find myself back on the top of the Ferris Wheel, our lips sticky with sugar, sharing kisses, sharing breaths, sharing dreams.

By: Azzurra Nox

Review: Meg Rhythm Gentle Steam Eye Mask

I was recently gifted this product from the Allure Enthusiasts program. I wasn’t sure what to initially think of this product, since I’ve never considered purchasing something similar before. But alas, I figured I’d give it a shot and see what the hype was all about (after all could 500 million buyers be wrong?). This product is made in Japan and each box contains seven eye masks (one for each day of the week?). The heat generated by this eye mask is approximately 104 degrees F.

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What It Is: Relaxing Eye Mask

What It Does: Promotes relaxation through the use of warm steam and lavender scent.

Verdict: I tried this on after a particularly tiring and cold night. The scent is very potent (meaning if you love lavender then you’ll love it, but if it annoys you, then it’ll seem pungent). I personally enjoyed the scent and helped me to relax. Being perpetually cold and at times suffering from head colds, the eye steam aspect of this mask was what I loved the most. The box says that the warming effect only lasts 10 minutes, but it actually was more like 30 minutes for me. Wearing this eye mask is like being lulled in a soft cuddly embrace and makes you feel like you’re truly getting pampered. Needless to say, I quickly fell asleep soon after.

Price: $10.99

Where To Buy It: Amazon

By: Azzurra Nox

Review: Channel Zero – No-End House

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Much like American Horror Story, Channel Zero is a horror anthology series which each season differing from another. Last year, it was Channel Zero: Candle Cove, this year SyFy series returned with Channel Zero: No-End House. Unlike other series that are either based off of books, original screenplays, or graphic novels, this series is based off of Internet-borne stories infamously known as creepypasta (they’re the sames stories that birthed the legend of Slender Man). Unlike American Horror Story, Channel Zero gives a seriously dose of creepy vibes with its visceral, almost nightmare-inducing visuals.

Channel Zero: No-End House is centered upon a haunted house. But this haunted house is unlike any other you’ve ever been in as entering all six rooms will leave you emotionally disturbed (if you even make it through to the other side). The show centers around the protagonist, Margot (Amy Forsyth) a young woman who’s still dealing with the untimely death of her father (John Carroll Lynch). One night, her best friend Jules (Aisha Dee) proposes to go out for the night to help pull her friend out of her dark spot. The two end up in a bar where they meet fellow friend J.D. (Seamus Patterson) and alluring new boy Seth (Jeff Ward) who dare the girls to join them to walk through a haunted house infamous for leaving anyone who enters it utterly disturbed. The two friends agree, and once they enter the house that’s when things go awry.

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What follows isn’t necessarily outwardly disturbing per se at first glance, only that the final room of the house brings the group to a neighborhood, much like the one they’re from (almost like an alternate universe of sorts) only that the people who inhabit that place may look like your loved ones, but are far from being those people. (Such as the protagonist Margot seeing her father living there and he’s alive, when in her world he’s dead). At first glance, the people inhabiting the house may appear innocuous but they actually harbor a dark secret. Mere food doesn’t nourish these creatures, rather they feed off of someone’s memories (quite literally, as your memories manifest into either a person or pet and the house’s inhabitants tear into them, devouring every morsel of your past).

The show was directed by Steven Piet (known mostly for the crime mystery Uncle John on Netflix). Channel Zero: No-End House is full of long pans such as the film It Follows, not quite revealing to the viewer right away what exactly it is that we need to be paying attention to. There’s a strange sense of dread in every scene, and the suspense and terror is palpable. The viewer is filled with a terrible sense of unease throughout the whole series, and for some of you less brave folks out there, you may need to sleep with the light on once you’re through with this.

By: Azzurra Nox

My American Nightmare – Giveaway & Book Launch!

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October had me uber busy between Halloween events (I was at a new event every weekend cause I LOVE Halloween) and launching my horror anthology MY AMERICAN NIGHTMARE – WOMEN IN HORROR ANTHOLOGY.

This anthology is a bit of a passion project where I selected short stories from a vast amount of entries to bring readers the very best of horror (and all the nuances of the genre) and incredible new voices that I wish to showcase.

For two weeks now the book has been featured on Amazon’s bestselling list in short stories, and I couldn’t be more proud of these ladies that helped my dream of compiling an anthology come true!

So support women writers by purchasing a copy of the book: HERE (or if you have Amazon Kindle Unlimited you can read the book for FREE!).

ALSO: Don’t forget to enter the giveaway I have for my book launch HERE (where you have a chance to win a $15 Amazon Giftcard & amazing book themed swag!)

P.S. For a limited time my book DOLL PARTS: Tales of Twisted Love is being offered FREE HERE!

By: Azzurra Nox