Book Review & Author Interview: This Darkness Mine – Mindy McGinnis

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Mindy McGinnis has been delivering badass (sometimes unlikeable) but definitely strong female protagonists since her early works. This Darkness Mine is no different from her previous novels in that regard. Sasha Stone is the epitome of perfection: first chair clarinet player, straight-A student, and also comes equipped with a “perfect” boyfriend who’s handsome, well-dressed, and doesn’t pressure her into sex. All of this slowly begins to erode once bad-boy Isaac Harver enters the scene. Soon, she begins to feel feelings towards him that she never did and recalling events she’s never taken part of. Or has she?

Some light begins to shed when we find out that Sasha had a twin that she ultimately ended up absorbing whilst in the womb (known as Shanna). Unlike Sasha, this twin despises control and perfection and begins to wreck havoc into her life once she starts to take over Sasha’s psyche. But is Shanna real or merely a figment of Sasha’s imagination?

The book flirts with the notion of unreliable narrator, much like Darren Aronofsky’s Black Swan did with Natalie Portman’s character. Is what is happening real or is it all just a sign of Sasha’s ultimate madness?

McGinnis breathes life into the “dead twin” Shanna, allowing her to be the personification of Freud’s ID (meaning being a person who only lives for their own passions and don’t allow their brain to control their emotions). Sasha on the other hand is Freud’s EGO end of this yin-yang duo, the brain and captain of the ship. But what happens when the emotion-driven Shanna takes reins of the situation and how will that effect Sasha’s “perfect” world?

This book isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s dark. It’s gritty. It’s gory. (Yes, I L-O-V-E-D it!). And just when you think you know where it’s leading you, you’re completely blindsided by yet again another improvised detour that will leave you questioning your own sanity and judgment. McGinnis delivers a punch to the gut with her sharp writing and often ruthless character interactions.

So take the plunge, cause it’s one hell of a crazy ride.

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Short Q & A With the Author:

When I started reading This Darkness Mine I realized that the book was based off of the short story that appeared in Among The Shadows, entitled Phantom Heart. When did you decide to further explore Sasha’s world and what was it about this character that compelled you to do that?

Great question, thanks for noticing! Yes, DARKNESS is based on my short, “Phantom Heart.” Originally, I had no intention of taking this any further. Then my fellow editors for Among The Shadows – Demitria Lunetta and Kate Karyus Quinn – insisted that there was a whole novel there. I wasn’t sure, but I pitched the idea to my editor at Harper Collins, who was like – Yes! Write it!

Sasha Stone is the typical overachiever. Do you think that her mental illness derives from expecting perfection out of herself and the pressures that come along with that, or does she suffer from multiple personality disorder?

I worked in a public school for 15 years, and I always thought it was interesting how black and white rules and programs were. Drugs are bad. Sex is bad. Smoking is bad. Period. In some ways, we’re telling the kids that even curiosity about our “darker” inclinations are plain wrong, and need to be smothered, not investigated. Perfection is impossible, yet many strive for it. I wondered what would happen if you took an already strained teen, trying to be the “good” kid, and had her repulsed even by any interest in doing “bad” things. Would she be able to accept that such urges can be normal? Or is that so far outside of what we’ve taught her is “good” that she has to come up with an alternative explanation?

For many years I’ve been very fascinated with the creepy phenomenon of Fetus in Fetu, where a twin ends up absorbing the other twin in the womb, and in some cases doctors have later found the missing twin inside of the living twin, usually mistaken for a tumor later on in life. When did you become interested in this strange phenomenon?

It’s actually not a rare event, it’s something that usually goes completely unnoticed. I can’t remember the first time I ever heard of it, because it is pretty pervasive in pop culture, but I did have a student years and years ago who had absorbed his twin. It’s something I collected in my lint trap of a brain, and it became paired in my mind with the mirror therapy that they use for phantom limb syndrome, which is how “Phantom Heart” came about.

In the novel, Sasha is a clarinet player. Were you ever in band in high school and how did that help with writing the novel from a musician’s point of view?

You bet!!! Trombone since 4th grade!!! I tell everyone this is my band geek book. I also took piano lessons throughout most of my childhood, so music has always been a part of my life as both a consumer and a producer. This was a chance to work that into a book.

This novel was exceptionally dark. It explored the trials of mental illness as well as what it means to be a successful girl. Which actress could you see in the role of Sasha if this were to be made into a movie?

Oh, I have no idea. I don’t ever do any fan casting.

(Editor note: I asked that question because I could totally see Emma Roberts portraying stone-cold crazy bitch Sasha to perfection.)

I often use music to get into a certain mood depending what scenes I’m writing. Since your novel was about a girl who was obsessed with music, did you use music as a way to aid you in the writing of this book? And which music/artist/or song did you listen to when immersing yourself into Sasha’s world?

I actually don’t listen to music when I’m writing because while it can be helpful to get you into one mood, it can also end up controlling you mood so that when you need to flip to something else when you change scenes it can be hard. Instead I have a white noise app that I keep on while I’m writing. It’s a back ground noise that lets my creativity be in control, not someone else’s.

Get your copy of This Darkness Mine here today!

Visit the author’s site http://mindymcginnis.com

By: Azzurra Nox

My Bad Romance: The Romantic

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The first time I saw you, you walked right past me and I felt my heart leap out of my chest as my gaze followed you and I said, “Who’s that hot guy?” And my then-boyfriend merely laughed and told me how it was a friend, and called after you. Once you returned, your eyes met mine and just like in some lame rom-com it felt like time had stopped for a moment, minus the cheesy pop song as the soundtrack. We spent the night drinking coffee and talking, and something I’d just look over at you as you spoke animatedly with your friend. When my phone rang, you said, “We’ve got the same ring tone,” later showing me how you too, had the same Franz Ferdinand song. You were on my mind for days after that night. It was impossible for me to fall in love with the boy I was with, because you had eclipsed him completely. How can one love the moon, when you were the sun?

The second time we met, it was a cold December night. I had broken up with my boyfriend. Two Capricorns were never meant to be together, our stubbornness clashing in the most violent ways. We met at a coffee shop, one of the few still open at the dead of night. We drank conspicuous amounts of coffee and tried several cakes. You kept drawing me comic strips of myself. It was bliss.

Then you insisted you’d walk me back to my hotel. It was snowing. Music flowed out from a pub down the street. You grabbed me, insisted we dance. I laughed, telling you it was too cold and you pulled me to saying, “I’ll keep you warm, pretty girl.” The stars lit up your eyes, and I smiled giving in. I still was uncertain in regards to your feelings for me. But then you kissed me, and any doubts I had vanished.

Like most wonderful, charming men, you were taken. Of course, I didn’t know that until after. After many kisses and after my heart was already yours. It was too late then for me to try to pull myself free of this twisted love.

You sent me so many letters after we parted. So many roses that I could’ve adorned a flower shop. You made me so many mix CDs filled with your own music and The Beatles, The Smashing Pumpkins, and various other artists.

The fourth time I saw you, three weeks had passed since our last encounter. But I immediately knew that something was amiss. The THE END was written all over your pale face by the way you grimaced when I hugged you. I knew that you were about to hit me with bad, TERRIBLE news.

I couldn’t stay. I had to get away.

You kept calling me afterwards. Leaving messages, saying how we should still be friends. That we were friends before lovers.

Another month went by before I saw you again.

By then my heart was shattered. But you kept telling me how much you loved me. I was reeling on x to truly understand any of it. I only wanted to smash your heart in smithereens just as you had done with mine. I just wanted to burn anything that you had ever given to me, till there was nothing left but ashes.

“I love you,” you kept repeating, like I was a child who couldn’t understand. “I care very deeply for you.”

I kept shaking my head. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true, or else I wouldn’t feel so awful. I let go of your hand.

“Where are you going?” you said, as tears blinded me. I walked aimlessly away from you. I wanted so much to stay. But I knew I couldn’t.

You were never mine for me to keep.

By: Azzurra Nox

Review: L’Oreal Infallible Pro Matte Liquid Lipstick

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What It Is: Highly Pigmented Liquid Matte Lipstick

Verdict: I bought this lipstick because I was looking for a matte liquid lipstick that was a blood red hue, and so I ended up getting the Roseblood shade out of this collection. I wasn’t sure what to expect since I haven’t been impressed with too many liquid lipsticks from other brands, except for Jeffree Star (my absolute favourite brand for liquid lipsticks). What I can say is that I’m pleasantly surprised by how amazing this product is! First of all, the colour is highly pigmented (albeit that you have to slick on about two layers of it since the first layer is more sheer than dark), but the best thing about this liquid lipstick is that it’s NOT drying AND it looks amazing (meaning it doesn’t play up the lines in your lips but rather comes out looking very smooth-looking an uniform). Bonus point: This lipstick doesn’t come off even after a serious makeout session.

Price: 9.99

Where To Buy It: CVS, Target, and www.lorealparisusa.com

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By: Azzurra Nox

My Bad Romance: The Artist

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I met you in the City of Love, or most commonly known as Paris. I was heartbroken and crying my eyes out along the Seine when you stopped me and asked me if I needed help in any way. “Are you capable of fixing a broken heart?” I said with a slight embarrassed laugh in between the tears. You were gentle and kind, and although your eyes are of the lightest shade of blue, they were the warmest color in that cold winter day.

You were in the city with your brother because he had a film meeting, and I was there to see “The Soulmate” (brooding musician that made any girl sigh as he walked by) only to find out that what should’ve been a getting back together weekend turned out to be a breaking up for good when he admitted that a girl he was casually seeing was impregnated with his baby. Somehow that cemented the fact that I needed to walk away for good.

My infatuation for you was both sudden and fleeting. I loved the way you held your paintbrush as you went on a painting frenzy, mixing the colours till they transformed into magic. Your kisses were warm, but my heart was cold. I’d touch you hoping that I’d feel something inside of me stir, but my heart was too wounded to even find a weak beat in its dark crevices.

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We shared cappuccinos and croissants in Florence, admired Botticelli’s art, and walked along the bridge over the Arno River. You held unto my hand as though you never wanted to let it go, and yet I always walked a step ahead of you, as though I wanted to disentangle from your affection.

And yet the months went by and I kept living in old black and white photographs whilst your world was in technicolor. You didn’t know how dark my world had become, I was so good at smiling in your presence. But tears would plague me the moment I was alone. I didn’t even know what I was crying over. The end of a relationship? Losing the soulmate? Or was I merely devastated that I couldn’t feel what you felt for me?

Love for you was eternal Spring, whilst I was living the most dreadful winter. When it came time for me to tell you the truth and let you go, I watched your heart crack leaving dreadful red marks down your chest and I wished that I could repaint a better picture. I yearned so much that I could distort the world to make it appear as beautiful as you saw it, because I wanted to much to be a part of it, but I don’t think I ever was.

The stars had abandoned me. There was only darkness in my road and you deserved the light.

By: Azzurra Nox

Review: Wet N Wild Megalast Liquid Catsuit Matte Lipstick

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What It Is: Pigmented Matte Liquid Lipstick

Distinguishing Features: Intense Pigmentation without drying out lips, Smudge-Proof for hours, and Lightweight Formula

Verdict: For the past year I’ve been in L-O-V-E with liquid lipsticks, in particular with Jeffree Stars Liquid Velour Lipsticks. So, when I noticed that Wet N Wild had come out with their own version of liquid lipsticks for half the price, I couldn’t help but pick up a few to see how they compared to the others that I own (L’Oreal, Jeffree Star, & ColourPop). What I can say is that I’m pleasantly surprised by the extraordinary quality of these liquid lipsticks! Their packaging is very similar to Jeffree Stars’ lipsticks, and although I love his very much, these lipsticks are quite comparable and even more lightweight than his! Your lips do not feel burdened by the lipstick, you actually forget that you even have it on, it’s that light! Not to mention that for me, these lipsticks have lasted from 7a.m.-9p.m. Without drying out, cracking, smudging, or drying my lips out! Once these babies are on, you’re set for hours of intense pigmentation! I was blown away! And for just under $5 a pop, you can grab 4 for the price of what it would cost you to buy one liquid lipstick from Jeffree Star!

Price: 4.99

Where To Buy It: Target or http://www.wetnwildbeauty.com

Colours Reviewed: Coral Corruption (a flattering peach shade), Video Vixen (an oxblood hue that makes me feel dangerously sexy like Fairuza Balk in The Craft), and Nudist Peach (a pinky nude best for pale complexions)

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*If you haven’t entered my Cosmetic Giveaway, do it now HERE! Amazing cosmetics from brands like Marc Jacobs, Benefit, Too Faced, Philosophy, and many more!

By: Azzurra Nox

Fashion: DOLLS KILL Haul

Trying to define my personal style is kind of difficult, but I’d say that it leans more towards a punk Lolita with some glam thrown in here and there. In other words, imagine Joan Jett’s and Marc Bolan’s lovechild, my fashion look would be the outcome.

Now, I know how many love their designer duds, but I often find a lot of runway designers to lack the certain edge that I wish they’d have.

But there’s a San Francisco boutique that seems to embody every aspect of my fashion sense and I’m so thrilled that they have an online shop as well, DOLLS KILL.

Now this site isn’t for the fashion faint of heart. These are for girls who dare to look like they’ve spent all night dancing to house music and drink their ex’s tears mixed with their coffee and booze.

They recently had a sale on their site and I grabbed a few items.

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I love this plain white Los Angeles tee, you can either dress it down with some ripped jeans, or give it a punk edge when worn with shorts and black fishnet stockings!

I also purchased a pair of white ankle socks, cause….I’m a sock addict, and another pair that are black and white.

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Nobody is happier about the 90’s making a comeback, than yours truly. I LOVE, L-O-V-E…velvet tees! I had a brown and a red one back in the day, and I wore them so often they ended up getting holes and my mother gave them away (sob!), so when I noticed they had an emerald velvet tee I hit the cart button faster than Speedy Gonzalez on amphetamines. If I could wear just one shirt this whole autumn it would be this, but ya know, it’s not socially acceptable (unless you’re a rockstar), but I love this shirt so hard it’s ridiculous.

What new fads are you liking and what online shops do you love? Share with me your finds or sites!

By: Azzurra Nox

 

 

Makeup Tutorial: Life is Peachy!

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I’m a huge fan of peach hues when it comes to makeup, but finding the perfect shade of peach can be quite daunting! So when I saw that Colour Pop had a few shades of peach, I jumped right on it and ordered several shades. This look is quite simple, but at the same time very fresh and chic and I could see it being used for a day-time cocktail party or ya know, just glamming it up as you binge-watch American Gods cause ya gotta be one fancy beyotch as you stuff your face with Captain Crunch berries.

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As usual I prepped my undereye area with Smashbox’s Photofinish Primer, and although there may be other cool primers out there, I’m really happy with this one, so I’ll usually stick to what I love before I branch out to others. Now, I’ve been looking for a new concealer for months to BLOW ME AWAY, and seeing that Allure lauded Colour Pop’s concealer so much, I knew that I just HAD to try it. So I ended up getting Colour Pop’s No Filter Concealer in Fair 5. Well, let’s say that in photos, the concealer looked amazing, but in real-life not so much (can anyone say, crease-much?). By the end of the day I felt like Steven Tyler and his million wrinkles. Not cool.

I set everything with Makeup Forever’s Ultra HD Pressed Powder in Transluscent and used a pretty peachy hue blush from Clinique called Peach Pop (I believe this was a limited edition).

Using a tiny beauty blender I added some highlights to the tip of my nose, brow bone, and cheeks using L’Oreal’s True Match Lumi Liquid Glow Illuminator Prime & Highlight in C301 Ice Glace.

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Eyes & Lips

For my brows, these days I’m sticking to Brow Wow Wow from Medusa’s Makeup. I just LOVE this so much, and the angular brush that Medusa’s Makeup sent me with this is absolute brush heaven.

For the lids, I applied Colour Pop’s Super Shock Shadow in Kennedy and placed Colour Pop’s Super Shock Shadow in Bandit in the crease and lower lash line, while applying Wet N’ Wild Creme Brullee eyeshadow along my brow bone. I used Revlon’s Colorstay Liquid Eye Pen in Black to make a simple winged liner. I then applied Clinique’s lash building primer after curling my lashes, and let the primer set for a few seconds before applying a generous amount of Clinique’s High Impact Mascara in Black to both my top and bottom lashes. To brighten up the look I lined my waterline with Lancome’s Khol Crayon in Blanc.

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I finished off the look with Colour Pop’s Kathleen Lights’ collab Ultra Matte Lip in Alyssa. This shade is the perfect pinky nude that you simply need in your life right about M-E-O-W.

Let me know what you think of this look!

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By: Azzurra Nox

Colourpop Haul & Review!

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For months I’ve been hearing such amazing things from this brand. From beauty gurus on youtube to Allure magazine, everyone has been raving about this brand. So of course I decided to take the plunge and try it out myself to see what the hype is all about.

I received 12 items in all, plus an eyeliner add-on because of the delay in shipping. I thought that was really nice of them, so kudos Colour Pop!

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No Filter Concealer in Fair 5

I was truly hoping for a miracle with this concealer because everyone raved (especially Allure) how amazing it is at masking undereye circles and blemishes. Maybe my hopes were too high for this, but I didn’t think this was an absolutely amazing concealer. The colour match was perfect, I’ll admit that, but the consistency of the product made for a somewhat stranger and cakey effect that I only managed to fix by applying another concealer (the Wet N’ Wild one) on top and blending the excess away with a beauty blender. Maybe paired with another concealer this does its job, but alone it’s not that great. Although, I must admit that the results on camera look amazing (but in person up-close you can see where it creases).

Peachy Keen Super Shock Shadows in Crimper, Kennedy, Cornelious, and Bandit

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Palette Pressed Powder in Outta Luck, Say I Do, Issues, and The News

Again, I’ve heard amazing things about their shadows and have been on the lookout for the best peach toned shadows, alas, while these shadows DO pack a lot of colour, both the Super Shock Shadows and Pressed Powder shadows wouldn’t really glide on the lid how I wish they would making for a somewhat patchy application. The consistency of these products felt somewhat chalky and I don’t know if that’s the reason why they didn’t apply as well as they should. However, they seemed to work better if I “packed on” the colour instead (which was more time-consuming for someone who’s always running late in the mornings!).

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Super Shock Shadow in Party of Five, Super Shock Cheek in High Five, Eyeshadow Brush in #11, and Creme Gel Liner in DTLA

I really love the feel of this flat, eyeshadow brush. It truly picks up lots of colour so that you can apply your shadow in one quick swoop! The blush was a gift, and whilst it wasn’t a fit for me colour-wise, it was very pigmented and blended beautifully. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I’m a eyeliner affectionado. The Creme Gel Liner glides on amazingly well, and does set like a normal gel liner. Since it was a free item, they sent me DTLA which is a dark navy shade (I would’ve preferred either brown or black) but it’s a dark enough shade that it could almost pass off as black AND it was a gift so I’m not complaining!

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Ultra Matte Lip in Take Five and Alyssa

For the past year I’ve mostly been using Jeffree Star’s Liquid Velour Lipsticks every single day. I was a bit reluctant to try a liquid lipstick from any other brand just because I really, really love his a lot. BUT…I must say that I’m truly impressed! I picked the shade Alyssa which is a pinky-nude collab that Colour Pop did with youtuber Kathleen Lights, and it’s a very flattering shade for pale or fair skin! Take Five was sent to me for free, and it’s more of a pink shade but haven’t had a chance to try it yet. Overall, I truly love how the lipstick lays on my lips. It’s not cakey, nor drying. It’s actually very hydrating for being a liquid lipstick!

This was one massive haul and I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know if you’ve tried any other products from Colour Pop or which ones are your faves! Would I re-purchase items from this brand? I’ll probably pass on the eyeshadows, but I’m going to definitely check out more of the liquid lipsticks and eyeliners!

By: Azzurra Nox

Review: Skinfix Facial Cleansing Cloths

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What It Is: Individually wrapped cleansing cloths

What It Does: Remove makeup or can be used as toner

Verdict: I’m usually skeptic when it comes to pre-soaked cleansing cloths because I use a lot of liquid liner and mascara, and those never seem to work for me at all in getting rid of makeup. Not to mention that by the time you finish up the packet, the cloths are almost dry! This isn’t the case with these at all, as each cleansing cloth is individually wrapped, meaning that not only will they remain soaked and won’t dry out, but you can also pop some of these in your handbag for any makeup emergencies, or if you need to freshen up. I’m absolutely in LOVE with the scent (it’s a fresh cucumber scent, ie. very clean-feeling). Now, if you’re looking to use this to take off some serious eye-makeup, I suggest you use about three cloths. But I do prefer these over any other pre-soaked cloths I’ve used in the past.

Price: $9.99 for 20.

Where To Buy It: Shop-us.skinfix.com

Discount Code: Up until October 31st, you can use the following CODE: SKINALLURE at the checkout and will receive 30% Off on your purchase of $15 or more.

By: Azzurra Nox

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